Cologne 2 (Yaoi BoyXBoy)

Chapter 25: Past

Chapter 25: Past

"Here." Yamada hands me an ice pack to place on my still injured eye.

"Thank you." I slowly eased it on my eye. "What about Erika?" I said still knowing she was a big factor in Yamada's life still. He couldn't simply abandon her for me. That just wasn't the actions of Yamada Seiji.

"She is still my fiancé."

"But do you even love her?"

"No." He sits, and looks down at his hands.

"Then how is she your fiancé?"

"She just is." He replies quickly.

"Then you must have some kind of liking towards her."

"I got together with her to get over what we had Kusaka." His voice low, and uneasy.

"I don't get your actions Yamada."

"I don't quite either." He holds his head, and let's out a morbid sigh.

"Do you still feel for me Yamada...?"

"I got to go." He stands up, and makes his way to my door.

I quickly sprung up from my bed, and grabbed his wrist, pinning him to the wall.

"Tell me please. I can't keep playing these mind games. If you don't, I will stop chasing.

"Yes." He says looking in my eyes. I could see the deep dark wells of tears being trapped in these mysterious orbs. These dark crystallized eyes that I can never figure out. I could see his agony, and pain, but what caused such pain?

"Why are you hurting?" I asked. I saw his eyes widen.

"Hurting?" He questions, but I knew exactly that he knew.

"I have seen you in pain. Maybe not physically, but mentally. Please tell me what it is."

"I have leukemia Kyou. I am dying everyday. I just got fortunate to still be here."

"You won't die." I said confidently. "This was acute wasn't it?"

"I caught it quick." He nodded.

"Then you will be alive. You are rich. I can help you." I touched his cheek.

"Kusaka I can't. I can't look at you like this." He turns away.

"I know you did some fucked up things, but you had your reasons. I still don't get you, but I know for a fact that I love you, and I am willing to forgive this."

"Kyou.....we won't have a happy ending." His eyes roam back to fixate on mine. The truth in his eyes scared me.

"Why do you say that? You have to have hope."

"I suppose." He nods. "I can try that."

"You have to break it off with that woman." I didn't want to ask that, but could I even avoid it at this point? I can't be his side dish.

"Okay." He looks down defeated.

"Don't tell me you love her?"

"I don't. I am just worried th-"

RING RING. Yamada's cellular rang, and he picked it up.

"Hello. Yes. I don't know..." He talks on the phone, and I blanked out. I didn't want to hear his conversation since I knew I wouldn't know what it was about. His words were quite vague, and to the point during phone calls.

"Yamada?" I called out after he hung up. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah it was Erika. I have to go. I will see you later." He walks off.