The Wannabe Diaries [ONGOING]

21/3/16

TW: probable self-harm, hopelessness, slight emotional abuse and slight bipolar.

Only ONE WEEK left. After that:- goodbye, cruel world! Tell Romero I love him! No wait don't tell him that, it isn't true. Wait, I should write a will.

Charlotte O'Silverson's Will

All my anime stuff should be divided evenly between Priya, Sarah and Trouble. I have loved them well. I give my brother my books, hoping he will remember me. To my older cousin Rick I bestow my phone. I have respected him till the very end. To Aria i give my jewelry. There's some good stuff in there. To the boys i give my remote-controlled helicopter, cars and table. To Raika I give my stuffed animals. If she does anything to them I will haunt her bad.

Thus satisfied, I hope my family members will not fight over me.

Yours,
Charlotte.

P.s: I am DEAD MEAT. MRS. BULLSHIT CALLED. From the look on my mother's face, I dont think I'll pass. She doesn't think so either. Oh god, why are you doing this to me? One-ONE I repeat ONE prayer of mine you could not answer. I hate this world.  After all that 'Belief' and 'Hope', I lost. I lost. I don't want to live. Save me, somebody.

So I'm sitting here and life-problem ghosts (if there is such a thing) are biting into my scalp, scratching my arms and legs and HEART. It's so painful that it's not painful anymore. My knees are wet. It's all I can do to not get this diary wet. My mother looked at me and looked away, saying it was her fault she was going through the pain she is now. ??? I want to run away. 'I want to live'was at the back of my physics copy. I had originally meant to write 'I don't want to live' but in my head was 'I want to die' so it came out that way.

I WILL pass. That is what will happen, despite all odds against me. I FEEL it.