Formula 1 oneshots

Apparently immortal (Lando Norris X reader)

I was told to write more comedy. Finally someone finds me funny. 

Summary: Lando has to look after his sister's three kids, and to boost his own ego he kinda bends the truth. And guess who has to help him with the repercussions? You of course. 

Y/n PoV 

I was sitting in my hospitality minding my own fucking business, looking at my socials. My dms were full of a mix of adorable fans who sent me their fan art and thirsting men with the occasional dick pic. It could take me one screenshot of the account name and their texts to expose them on Twitter, but the truth is that I was either really not bothered or I just didn't care.

My hospitality was small, spotless clean and tidy. It was the bare minimum, but it was easy to set up every week and not too time consuming. Plus I never really expected guests in that miserable hole. I always met with my cameraman or manager outside, near the paddock.

I looked up as I heard the door open, Lando running in, a panicked look on his face, slamming the door shut behind him and putting his back against it, breathing heavily. I rolled my eyes and looked back down to my phone, unbothered. "I know that the wonders of fame have led you to forget about privacy, but have you ever heard of knocking?" I asked.

"No Y/n you don't understand, this is serious" he said, still gaining his breath. "Like that time where you said there was a mountain lion outside but it was only a wild cat? Or like the time you told me that someone important looking wanted to meet me outside only for you to pick me up and throw me in a baby pool?" I asked sarcastically, finally looking up at him.

"Oh that one was great and I would definitely do it again" he said with a smirk, but his panic came back immediately "but this one is actually that bad". I groaned and tossed my phone on the bad, standing up and crossing my arms. "Ok so you know how I've got a sister-" "right" "so she brought her three kids over while she talked to her husband who works for my pr team" "Kay? And?" "She trusted my enough to look after them for fifteen minutes".

I pinched the bridge off my nose I closed my eyes "oh god, them what?" "Well you know me, I always exaggerate things to boost my ego-" "I know, I know. Just spit it out". Lando took a harsh breath in, almost as if he already expected my reaction "they might or might not think that I'm immortal".

My eyes widened slightly and I dropped my arms to my sides "so?" I asked in a confusing tone. "They want me to prove it".

"Oh my god you are unbelievable!" I groaned. I took a breath in and out. "It's fine, it's just kids" I encouraged, more to myself than Lando. I went to open the door and he reluctantly moved aside. As soon as I opened it, I saw three adorable kids standing there, looking like lost ducklings "awww" I said to myself "you see Lando? They're perfectly calm. Nothing to worry about-" "ALL HAIL THE IMMORTAL LANDO-" they started screaming and I slammed the door shut in their face, as rude as it probably looked.

"Oh kaaayy maybe not" I mumbled. Lando was nervously pacing around the room, rubbing his hands "why me, why me?" He kept whispering. "Oh cmon dude! You're a formula one driver, you could crash, snap your neck or get really injured while you laugh about it, but when it comes to three kids half your size you can't even face them." I said in a critical tone, but still I found the whole situation really funny "just go out for tell them to calm down and that you're not actually immortal, you're just a very bad entertainer".

"I can't" he whispered harshly "they just keep chanting about me being the chosen one, or whatever it might mean". "Not a big surprise, they did grow up with Harry Potter and Star Wars..." I said. "Then you go" "what?!" I yelled. "You heard me, if you think it's so easy, then you do it".

I shrugged "you know what? Fine, let's have a bet. 20 pounds?" I asked. " deal" he replied. I grabbed my water bottle and opened the door, stepping outside. "Heyyyy guys" I said as I waved down at the kids very awkwardly "you know-" "are you the immortal queen" the smallest of them asked. "What?!" I tried to process what he said, but before I could say anything, they started chanting again.

"ALL HAIL THE IMMORTAL AND HIS QUEEN"

It was very very annoying and childishly loud. The sip of water I just took made me choke and I spit it back in my thermos bottle. "Guys, no" I said, trying to clarify "I am not a queen, as much as I want to be, I am not with Lando and he is definitely not immortal".

"So he lied to us?" One of the kids asked in an upset tone. "Uhhhhh..." "grownups aren't supposed to lie! GET HIM" the tallest boy yelled, though he was still really short compared to me. They stormed in my hospitality and started dragging Lando out, and he gave me a a mix of a confused and pissed look.

Me? I was there, holding onto whatever I could to sustain myself. I was laughing insanely, as if I took some type of drugs. Tears were coming out of my eyes and I couldn't stop.

"There you are Lando. I was looking for you and the kids all over" I turned around to see a tidy looking woman, with light brown hair and gray eyes, looking about in her late thirties to early forties. Then it hit me, it was Lando's sister. "Uhmmm yeah" said Lando, trying to be confident as he could with the kids still crowding around him.

The kids collectively groaned at the sight of their mother, not wanting to end their imaginary game. "And you must be Y/n L/n" the lady said, looking at me with a smile. I stood up straight and shook her hand "yes that's me" "wow no wonder Lando can't stop talking about you, you have the skills and the looks. You've really given him a run for his money. C'mon kids, we need to go" she said, before collecting all her children and leaving.

As they walked off, I stood beside Lando who was looking cherry red. "Immortal huh?" I asked him "shut up Y/n" he said jokingly. "Well looks like I owe you twenty pound" I mumbled going towards my pocket "keep it. I just wanted to prove a point". We both remained in a comfortable silence for a few moments until I asked "you can't stop talking about me huh?". He looked shocked for a moment until he laughed "that's it".

He picked me up and started carrying me to my hospitality. I squealed and latched onto him "Lando, last time I checked I didn't have a baby pool in my room". "No" he said, as he walked in "but you do have a bed". Before he could toss me on my bed, I clung onto him even harder, making both of us fall on the bed. "At least I tried" he mumbled, as we both exploded in laughter.