My Dirty Little Vegetable

Prince Philip looked y/n up and down with a devilish look in his eyes, which may have been misinterpreted as he was probably just dying. His skin, with the same colour palette as an eggplant, alluded to the fact that he had a magnum dong.

Y/n was his nurse, although, she couldn't keep herself from his stale-bread looking face. In her eyes, his 99-year-old package was shining like the heavens and she wanted a taste of his fermented pickle.

She thanked the royal family for keeping this wrinkly sex-force alive as she prepared to go down on him.

To get him interested in the BDSM play she was preparing for, y/n tried to dirty talk to him.

Y/n: "I want you to spank me like I've been a bad 'ol prisoner"

In truth, she wanted to spank his golf ball looking ass.

Prince Philip only responded with moans, however, not the conventionally sexy ones ~ it was more the dying moans of a zombie.

Y/n continued nonetheless.

Y/n: "I want you to stick your royal sceptre in my anus and dig shit out like your looking for the last spread of Nutella in an almost empty jar, where the only spread left is in the centre so it's really hard to dig out, so you have to put in more work."

Daddy Philips didn't respond.

"I know how to get a reaction out of him," she thought.

She whipped out his snake like a pest exterminator, with experienced hands as this was a regular activity she did in the nursing home. Sugar daddies were a life style and a hustle ~ all ripe for death in a nursing home too.

As she played with the little biter, it didn't respond so she began to sexily talk to his decaying Tim Burton  sausage.

Y/n: "Hey little guy, wanna crawl into my mouth and lay eggs? You dirty little freak!"

It was quite odd. Prince Philips hadn't responded in a while.

As she checked his pulse, she realised that he had died.

"Fuckin' finally!" She thought.

Wait, shit! He fackin died before I went down on his decrepit dick.
I sucked a dead man's dick.

This realisation haunted y/n for a very long time, more so the royal family. However, she was heavily compensated.

Sugar daddies pay up ~ ain't no backtalk once they dead. 🥰