dark paradise // d.m.

- harsh words -

trigger warning: explicit and offensive language

I spent the night at my brother's, too sad and tired to walk to my own dorm, and the nightmares tormented me all night long. I must've woken up panting and sweating at least five times but I didn't have the heart to wake Harry up. Especially because, unlike everything in my dreams, he looked so peaceful.

Harry, our parents, Draco, the twins, Voldemort. Everyone was screaming at me, tonight.

At 4 a.m., I finally get up from the bed, giving up on the perspective of being able to fall asleep again. I write a note to Harry so that he doesn't get scared when he wakes up without me being there, and I get out of his dorm. I rub my eyes and I sigh, walking down the hallway. "I can't see shit," I groan with a huff, trying not to trip on my own feet.

I'm almost out of the boys' dorm when I hear a voice calling me.

"Freya, is that you? I heard your voice..."

I turn around just to see Fred standing two feet away from me. He stays silent for a few seconds and he lowers his eyes. I stare at his face and my heart starts pounding into my chest. I know he's ashamed of what he said but I don't really feel like hearing him right now. I send him a glare and, shaking my head, I reach the common room as fast as I can.

"Don't-" he stammers, following me down the stairs, "Freya, please, I need to talk to you."

"What?!" I seethe, turning to face him and trying to keep my voice as low as possible, "What is it, Fred?"

"I'm sorry" he blurts out, with regret carved deep in his face, "I'm sorry for insulting you and getting mad over this bullshit, I- I was just-."

"Hurt" I complete his sentence, staring at the floor, "You were hurt."

"Yes..." he murmurs, "But I hurt you, too, and I'm sorry."

I sigh again, fighting the tears that are pooling in my eyes. "I remember everything about that night and I'm so glad you were my first" I mumble, giving him an accusatory look, "But you don't own me, Fred, and you perfectly know I've never done anything behind your back."

"I know, Freya" he admits, rubbing the back of his neck, "Sometimes I'm just afraid, alright? Like you said that night, sometimes I just feel alone and paranoid."

I stare into his eyes and I cross my arms on my chest.

"I fucked up, I should've never said those things or reacted that way, in the first place" he keeps going with a desperate look in his eyes, biting down on his bottom lip, "I mean it, I'm really sorry! Please, tell me how I can get you to forgive me."

As angry as I am, I can't lose him. I don't want to, never. I just want to forget this fight. I let out a long sigh and I nod slowly. "You're forgiven," I whisper.

Fred exhales a shakily breath and, within the span of a second, he bolts towards me and takes me in his strong arms, tightening them around me. I hesitate for a second because of the part of me that still wants to be mad at him, but the relief of this moment is a stronger drive, so I hug him back and I bury my face in his chest. "I'm so sorry for making you cry, darling" he murmurs, "I'm a fucking prick." I let out a small laugh, shaking my head. "Yes, you are" I tell him, jokingly, "You owe me one, Freddie." He looks down on me and he gives me a big smile, before kissing me on my forehead. "Wanna try to sleep?" he asks, softly, "I don't think you're having quite a lot of fun, being awake at 4 am." I bite my lower lip and I shrug. "I had quite a lot of nightmares tonight" I confess, "I'll try if you stay with me."

Fred sends me an amused look and winks. "D'you think I'd miss the chance, darling?" I beam at him and I guide him on a couch, laying down on top of him. "I'm skipping classes tomorrow, so if you wanna go don't worry and just move me off of you" I chuckle, cuddling up on his chest and enjoying the warmth of his body, "Goodnight, Freddie." A laugh rises from his chest as he puts a blanket all over us, before wrapping his arms around my waist. "Goodnight, darling" he murmurs, "Sleep, now."