Don't Hold Back(BoyXBoy)

Chapter 10

Jason

I lay in my bed about a half hour after Caleb came home. When he walked in the door his hair was ruffled and his hoodie was skewed, and I knew why.

I saw.

I saw the way Collin grabbed him, and kissed him. I saw the way Caleb’s eyebrows shot up in confusion, and then the way he melted against Collin and let him take complete control off his body. The way he clutched at Collin, I can only imagine the sounds he made. Little moans that sang his inner thoughts of pleasure. The worst part is that I know Collin is playing him. He gives Caleb sweet looks and whispers sweet words into his ears but really he just wants to get into his pants, and Caleb is falling for it.

I thought I was angry when I went looking for Caleb after he threw that fit, and found him in the boy’s bathroom, with his arms around Collin. The white hot rage that burned through me then made me turn away on my heels and head straight back to class, but that rage was nothing compared to what it is now. I feel like I’m going to rip something apart. I want to throw everything off of my shelves, and punch holes into the nice blue wall paper that surrounds my room. I want to hurt someone, but not Caleb. At first when he walked through the door I wanted to grab him and slap him, then I wanted to kiss him, and ravage him right there to make him mine.

To make him know he was mine.

The thought scares me, why do I want to do that? I’m straight, I like girls. Except for recently, I have found no interest in girls. It’s not like I don’t notice them, I mean I do. I notice the way they sway their sweet little hips, but then I think of Caleb, and having him beneath me, and running my hands down his hips, as he mewls in pleasure. The thought has my body aching and I quickly turn over onto my stomach fighting off the lust that is burning inside me.

When I saw them in the car, I didn’t want to watch them. My heart ached; it was the worst pain I have ever felt in my whole life. I literally grabbed my chest and gasped, when I saw them, when I saw Caleb accepting Collin. How long would it take before Caleb gave himself to Collin in every sense of the word? He couldn’t, once he did Collin would toss him out like yesterday’s newspaper, and Caleb’s innocence would be tainted, and he would cry. I just know he will cry I can almost see the tears streaming down his face. He would regret it, for the rest of his life.

Fucking Collin, and his fucking smile, that smile that lured in innocent boys and defiled them until they were nothing, I want to punch him, my fists clench at the thought. I want to punch him for touching what’s mine.

Yours, last time I checked, Caleb most definitely was not yours in any way whatsoever. Sure you jerked each other off in his car, but did that really mean anything? He was drunk and you took advantage of him.

I took advantage of Caleb.

I was just as bad as Collin, Maybe even worse.

Definitely worse, I had no right to be jealous.

I don’t sleep for the rest of the night, and I’m still awake as the sun comes up, and I hear Caleb’s alarm go off from next door. Slowly I stand from my bed and walk to the bathroom, the door opens and the room is filled with perspiration. Caleb must already be up, for some reason he always wakes up before his alarm clock goes off. Stripping off my clothes, I try not to think about how only moments ago Caleb had been in here, washing himself. Turning on the shower to warm water I start to rub myself with the soup, and then think about how Caleb probably rubbed himself. Then this brings a completely different image into my head. Groaning I let myself rub my growing erection until I come. Why did this seem like a natural occurrence now? To pleasure myself with thoughts of Caleb going through my head, wasn’t natural, it wasn’t good, but how could something so wrong feel so goddamn right?