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My number one : Major Crush

Hi and hello.

So, as you can see in the title. I'll be writing about one of my major crushes, let's name him Mr. N.

My POV

2019
I never knew that he exists when the first time I switched classes about 3 years ago ( I was 15).

After about five months or so, I finally get to be close with him. I was never attracted by his appearance. Like, to be honest. Girls are so head over heels with pretty faced boys. But, I must admit that he's not really that pretty faced.

Mr.N is a very tall and slim person. I'm so short compared to him. Like, I'm not even as tall as his shoulder (I'm 5'2"). He has a very dark and tanned skin colour. Messy hair and always look so bored. I don't know his eye colour, maybe black or dark brown. He has a thing for anime, manga and Mobile Legend game. So, that's probably one of the reasons I watch and read mangas sometimes. I'll get into that later.

Basically, how I got close to him. Mm, I don't remember exactly how. My friend, S always teased him about something in our class. Like, everyday. She messed around with him and soon after that, our whole gang consists of (Me, S, As, Al, Ai, Ay, E) started to develop like a very close relationship with him.

In 2019, I would say he's just a very shy and quiet person. Like, he just didn't want to fit in our class. He's not interested in learning at all. So, he would just always never did any homework and I would scold him but helped him at the same time with his study. He's so cute. Basically, that was the start of him becoming my number one major crush.

We were in a library one day. After that, the period ended and we all went outside to get our things. At that time, I saw a very handsome guy, I'm not kidding. Like he's very handsome. Fair skinned and just a tall physique. One of my classmates talked to the handsome guy. They were laughing and they did like the 'guy's handshake', I don't know. I asked my classmate who in the world is he.

My classmate said,
"He's Mr. N's older brother, M"

When I know that he has an older brother, I quickly asked Mr.N. He just nodded and yeah, I asked him for his older brother's Instagram username so that I could stalk. He gave me.

So, my first boyfriend was my crush's older brother. It happened quickly. After a week, I was officially in a relationship. We were happy. I went to a couple of dates with him. Mr. N helped me to get closer to his older brother, Mr. T.

Did I mention that Mr. T is actually adopted? Briefly, Mr. T's parents had many kids. They asked Mr. N's parents to take care of him for them before they had Mr. N. So, they are really close.

Mr. T was fine. One day, I had to break up with him because I think I was so stupid to have him as my boyfriend. He's okay but I was not. I'm not truly in love or like him as much as Mr. N.

Then I realized that I like Mr. N as more than friend. Yes, I was selfish but it had to be done because I didn't want Mr. T's and my heart to be broken. I had to break up with him. Our relationship ended in about a month. Yes, so short. I admit, I was not the best girlfriend.

Despite breaking up with Mr. T his older brother, Mr. N was still my friend and treated me as usual. I don't know. I feel really bad for making things complicated. Stupid, Miss M.

Mr. N and I got even closer. I taught him history one day and sit next to him. I was so dumb and acted like a very girly girl. I must be annoying to him. Whatever, I was just nervous and had to be cool.

The same thing happened during maths lesson. I studied with him and his best friend at the time, Mr. D. We were laughing and joking around. I could feel the time is frozen whenever I see Mr. N's smile. It's just warming and cute.

I wrote Mr. N a short and small letter, goodluck letter because we were having an important exams. He just smiled and it made my heart fluttered. I wonder if he kept it or just threw it.

After a few weeks (we have had our exams), I somehow was talking to Mr. N. I just randomly taking out things from his pencil case and I saw the letter. I blushed?

Yes, so you must be wondering. How could I like him even when it seems like he didn't even have anything to spark? I don't know. I just like him.

Mr. N's funny. By not using his jokes. His face was funny and it made me skip a beat everytime he made a weird face. And the way his attitude was. It was low-key hot. He's a very low profile, not involved into dramas, terrified to talk to girls because of a trauma, his laugh and just him. I could never forget him. Even if I am married to another guy, he will always be the one that I want.

Yes, creep.

He's just Mr. N and I am me. I was his brother's ex. So, things will happen between us never.

It will get worse in 2020. Part two coming.

*the picture is Mr. N's favourite anime character*

"If I don't have to do it, I won't do it. If I have to do it, I'll make it quick,"

♡, Miss M.

This is my fav anime character. Look at him,  so cuteeeeeee gahhahhhahah (づ￣ ³￣)づ