Secretly Damaged

Chapter 8: If I Stay

Lilo's POV*

I looked up only to see doctors. Everything that I could hear was all just murmurs. I couldn't hear clearly and I couldn't understand anything, I was starting to freak out. Doctors looked down on me with worry and I couldn't stand it. What are they saying? At this exact moment I didn't know for sure if I stay or if I go.

I began to hear beeping and noticed that nurses began to leave the room. "Just breathe. Everything is going to be okay." The doctor looked down on me with a sigh of relief.    

                                  ***
I woke up to some talking around me and looked outside to see the sunsetting. I guess I wasn't in the emergency room anymore. I turned my head looking all around the room to see at least 20 people just piled into this one room. I saw family and friends. I guess the news got out.

My parents and Jarr were the first to rush to my bed side. They started piling questions on me, like; Are you okay? What happened? Do you remember anything? Who did this?

"Guys settle down, please. I'm okay, i don't know, no, they arrested them already." I mumbled answering their questions.

"I'm definitely going to get revenge on them!" Matt said angrily.

"Matt that won't help anything" I gazed at him.

Jarr's POV*

I saw her open her eyes and I rushed to her bed side. She looked horrid. I couldn't help but notice all of her bruises. Why are people so cruel? Why is revenge a thing? She didn't even really do anything, it was all me, this is all my fault. I let my best friend down.

After about 20 minutes of talking and hugs about everyone had left, even her parents which was typical. 'They had to get back to work because it's more important' kind of thing. Boy did I hate how they treated her now that they have these high paying jobs. Her siblings didn't even show up. All of her friends showed up left because they were tired. I mean I am too but I am not leaving her side till the day I die.

I left the room to get something to eat from Taco Bell across the street. This rehab center doesn't really have the best food. Plus Lilo hasn't eaten in a few days so maybe she will actually eat this time. I guess anything is better than nothing. The nurses said that she has lost at least 5 lbs since she left the hospital. That's not good because boy is that girl already twig looking enough. I payed for the tacos and freezes, then waited for them to be ready.

I walked back to her room and she was sleeping again. She has been sleeping non stop so I gently shook her limp body and woke her up. "Hey, Lilo I brought you some Taco Bell. Wake up you need to eat." I said kind of with a motherly tone.

"Why I'm not even hungry!?!" She groaned.

"Come on you haven't eaten in days the least you can do is take a few bites and drink something to help your body stay hydrated. You don't want to be here any longer than you have to trust me." I convinced her.

"Fine, what did you even get me?" She flickered her eyes looking at me.

"Two crunch wrap supremes and a baja blast, your usual." I said grabbing them off the end table, "Now eat so we can go home tomorrow."

Lilo's POV*

I was so tired but I guess I do have to eat at some point. I took my first bite of my crunch wrap, I felt relieved. I groaned with happiness. First bites in 4 days, at least that was what the nurses chart had said by my bed. "Mmmm, thank you Jarr!!" I spoke with a mouthful, "I might need two more of these!" I said finishing my first one. Man did it feel good to eat.

"Maybe we should wait awhile because man did you inhale that. Your doctor said to take it slow just so you don't over feed yourself to fast because that's not good either." Jarr spoke truthfully.

"Okay, and Jarr? Thank you for staying with me and not leaving my side it means a lot." I gulped down so blast.

I guess I'm not like most people because I shouldn't be so open about what all happened to me in the past few days. I should be shy about this. Being raped that is. I feel like I should be ashamed of myself more than I am but I'm not. Why? I actually feel more confident. I want to feel brave and strong for other victims and maybe I could help them. I'm not at all worried about myself anymore, while I was asleep I had a few dreams that helped me through my troubles. Weird I know but dreams can make you think. To me right now I am a survivor not a victim. Screw those assholes that did this to me, I know they can't do it again. At least this time if they try to I will know how to defend myself. Of coarse I feel used and abandoned but at least I'm not the one who was stupid enough to do something to hurt another human being. I mean you must be so low class that you had enough guts to do something to an innocent person.

***
I have been out of the rehab center for almost 4 weeks and now I'm back home. I haven't seen or talked to Jarr in 2 weeks because she is off on tour with Taylor. I'm happy for her, she has everything that she deserves. Plus she had a lot on her plate while she was taking care of me.

My parents kicked me out because they didn't want me bringing over any guys but why the hell would I be doing that. #1. I got raped and everything is still sore #2. I'm not the slut that they think I am and #3. I wanted to move out anyway. So I guess everyone wins! Living by yourself has its ups and downs when you are only a junior in high school. Yeah, I caught up to all my legit classmates and I'm now a junior!! Rehab had online classes so that I could catch up while I was in there. Plus I'm 16 now so I can drive myself around, I have three jobs and I do online schooling. School isn't so bad anymore since I don't have to worry about going somewhere and trying to impress anyone. Of coarse I miss my friends but it's high school you're bound to loose them anyway right. Jarr does online school too so it's not like I lost my best friend. My life is officially complete all I have to do is settle down, meaning stop stressing and focus only on me right now.

I haven't talked to Sammy or Matt recently but they are off doing their own thing. Sammy potentially met someone and well Matt lives in LA doing all those things that famous people do. I guess I don't really mind living this low life of staying in my apartment all day and not seeing people. I mean I go shopping and do stuff with my life to but Netflix and a cup of coffee and I'm okay. I'm okay now guys. I'm okay.

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Hey guys I'm completely sorry I haven't written in ages. I did a little bit of editing and a little bit of fast forwarding but hey I finally updated!!!

I completely understand if you are mad but cliff hangers always work I'll try to update more. I mean Christmas break got me thinking that I should write again! Tell me what you think of this chapter!

LATER HOMIES✌🏼️stay beautiful and keep smiling😊 LOTS OF LOVE💕 Pauline