Only A Leap Ahead

2. Necklaces and chromatic aberration

Two crisp knocks on my door and I'm awake. "Hello world", I whisper, only loud enough for my ears. "How delightful it is to wake to a glorious morning", I add sardonically. I sound much better. My voice isn't completely back but I sound better. Well that's a start.

The knocks come again, this time it was three. "Hey Scar! Open up, will you? I do not want to re-enact that 'Here's Johnny' scene from 'The Shining'. Open the door or I'll have to get that axe and-"

I open the door to see a cheeky grin. I cup my little sister, Isabelle's face in my hands. "And batter my door to shreds", I complete.

"Oh c'mon now. We got to get you ready for school", she squeals. "Get dressed and come out".

"Ugh!" I grimace.

"I hear that" she screams from the kitchen. I change quickly into anything my hands can find from my closet. I hate dressing up. I slide my hand through my hair and put it up in a pony. I don't even bother to put on make-up. Not like I have loads of it anyway. I don't take the troubles to see myself in the mirror and head towards the kitchen.

"You gotta be kidding me", Isabelle scoffs. "Seriously, you didn't even change the t-shirt you were wearing since last night and look at those floral pants! What are you even wearing Scarlette?"

I stare at her. "Why? What's wrong? Don't I look like a blooming flower?", I ask. I pick up my toast and nibble at it. "All fresh and cheerful."

Uh-oh. If there is anything in the world that Isabelle cannot stand, it is this. My weird choice of clothes must have outraged her. She pulls me back to my room. "But my toast", I whine. She doesn't bother. She fishes an off-white, V neck spaghetti strap and makes me wear it. I can do nothing but follow her like an obedient duckling that follows the mommy duck. She pulls my hair open and lets it fall on my shoulder. They don't require much styling. They are naturally wavy.

"Now the floral pants look better, oh a second please", she says. She comes back with a tiny pedant that has a little deer on it. Dad's gift to mom. Dad's last gift to mom. The gift mom was wearing on that night. I wonder who washed the blood that was on it.

"Here", she says, handing me the pendant. "Mom would have wanted you to have it."

I quietly put it on. I don't say this and I don't show this but I feel like I'm being choked. This...this chain, it has seen so many of our good memories. I don't want to wear it. The good memories hurt. I can't breathe.

"You look perf!", she squeals. "Don't you have gloss?"

"It's in the car.", I lie.

"I'll be waiting by the car", she says.

I sigh. Well at least Isabelle is happy. I grab my bag and my toast and head towards the car.

"No, I'm driving. So move", I say when I see her already making herself comfortable on the driving seat.

"Please...Just this once?", she pleads.

"Move it. You don't even know how to drive."

"But Arlett taught me", she immediately clasps her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry"

She moves away from the driver's seat. I take a deep breath and take the wheel. Arlett Flynn. I smile sadly. So these two are still friends. I wonder how she's holding up.

The world outside doesn't change, does it? It seems unbothered by the mess I am in. The sky is the same, the sun is extending its warm arms wherever it can, the blue throatworts are in full bloom. Everything looks so pretty, everyone looks content. I slam my foot on the accelerator. I'm angry.

Isabelle notices. She doesn't say anything. We drive to school in this silence.

I park the car and quickly get out...tears threatening to fall down. "Hey", Isabelle calls out. I blink my tears away. "You don't have to wear it" she said. "I just thought it looked good with your attire and umm...I'm sorry for mentioning her. I didn't mean it."

"Thank you", my muffled voice comes out. "Can I be alone please?", I ask, clearing my throat.

"Sure", she says and starts walking away.

I remove the chain immediately. I free myself from this suffering. I put the chain in my bag and do a small breathing exercise.

Breathe in. Breathe out. There, that's much better.

I put my head to the sky and shut my eyes, taking long breaths. I open my eyes and look forward, that's when I see him. I thought it was the glare from the sun. I blink my eyes at least a dozen times. No, I'm sure. I stare at his empty grey eyes. He stares back. This whole staring business goes on for a whole ten minutes, and then he turns to leave.

Was I dreaming? I slap myself. Ouch! Well, definitely not. Hallucinations then? Argh! There is so much in my head already, I do not want to be tortured by this now. I shake my head, trying to remove those thoughts. But then I see him walk right past me and towards school. So much for avoiding stupid thoughts. It wasn't even hard to spot him in the escalating crowd. I see him walk inside the building, my eyes not leaving him for a second.

He was pushed into a mob of color, and he didn't fit in. He was so perceptible. How couldn't he be? The only color he had was grey and shades of grey.