Freedom is...

Untitled Part 9

At first, Loki would walk through the house. He would sit outside-- not for too long--, join us for meals, have short conversations. Slowly, though, he stopped leaving our room. I would walk in mid-day, or at night, and he'd be sitting in the floor with Darcy's device. I'd even woken up in the early morning, way before dawn, but well after midnight, and found him leaning against the wall. Sometimes he would hum, or mouth words. Mostly he was still. And it worried me. It shouldn't have; at least he wasn't dwelling on his mistakes or having a heatstroke. However, I'd never seen him like this. It was unnerving.

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        There are an assortment of instruments in the universe, but I'd always loved the sound of the piano. Haunting little melodies being pieced together by these keys. Slow ballads, love songs, rejoicing hymns....

        'It's so quiet here,/And it feels so cold./This house no longer/ feels like home.' (So Cold, Ben Cocks)

        Such somber words, and yet they were the very things I felt in whatever was left in the place where my heart should have been. Of course, judging my the verses, the song was about losing a lover. Though, loss of any kind is relatable.

        One could say that since the day I'd been given Darcy's iPod I'd been sulking. Sulking. Such a pitiful word. I liked to think I was reflecting. Maybe reflecting was sitting alone, listening to the music of mortals, and refusing to take out your ear buds when your brother would speak, no doubt inviting you to take part in dinner, conversation, or something of the sort. Yes, I was sulking.

        Though, you can only kill so many and regret so much before sulking becomes habit.

        I found a new way of tracking time, as well, since I'd always been terrible at that. It was less of a seconds-to-minutes system, and more of a 'How Many Times Could I Listen To SAIL In That Time Period' system. For instance, Thor would try to get my attention for half a play-through. Getting up because food was a necessity took, perhaps, and entire play-through. Two, if I was stopped for conversation. Charging the device was around sixty plays. Staring into the nothingness was infinite.

        I had gone through every song on Darcy's iPod at least twice, and even managed to find new songs through an 'app'. I wouldn't dare try to list even half of it. But every single one had at least one relatable phrase.

        That was a bit sad, wasn't it? That I'd gone through so many mortal songs. That I'd identified with so many. And I was so... emotional. I was never this emotional. It was disgusting. Yet, I stayed there and, yes, sulked.

        It was one day, in the midst of Masterpiece Theater III, that Darcy came to visit  me. This was odd, seeing as it was only ever Thor who distracted me from my music-- which, now that I thought of it, was Darcy's music.

        She was wearing a sort of cheaply-made tiara. Cardboard and plastic, by the looks of it. She also held a sort of plastic horn. I removed an earbud. This would be interesting.

        "Hey, I know you kindof like shutting yourself up in here," she said, excitement in her voice. "But it's New Year's Eve, which means streamers, and hats, and a crap-load of wine, and I'd hate for you to miss it."

        "Is it required?" I asked dismissively.

        "Well, no, but you've been in here for, like, two weeks. And I want my iPod back, dude."

        I sighed and stood. I might as well have gone with her whim, seeing as I knew Thor would have come pestered me if I'd refused. I walked slowly to the door, handing her the iPod reluctantly, and headed to the front room.

        I wasn't exactly surprised to see Jane and Thor wearing vibrant and cheap hats, but I was a tad surprised when Thor walked up to me and plopped one on my head. I must have looked as unamused as I was, for he laughed and said, "Come on, now, Loki! It's a day of celebration for the mortals, and it is a tradition!" 

        Sighing, I sat down on the end of the couch farthest from Thor. I didn't remove the hat. Maybe because it made my brother happy to see me in it.. or happy to see me off of the floor in general.

     It wasn't so bad... sitting there, surrounded by smiling people.  It reminded me that good moments, that not everything was bad.

     

        That feeling vanished the instant I heard the crash.

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~AN~ 

Most of this I wrote last year, but part of it I wrote today. I'd love to write a long thing here, but I'm pressed for time right now. Long story short, I won't be posting anymore on this website. All of the rest of this story or any others will be posted/finished on fanfiction.net, upon which I believe I have the same username. Sorry for any inconvenience. Love yall.

~DatGlowstickThoe