Vale's story

The first goodbye

I don't like this. He's been in there for too long. Something happened. I'm sure of it. Just don't let it be what I think it is.. My knee bobbed nervously as I sat on my short stool near the fire place. It sparking and cracking away gently, giving off a nice warmth. Stupid stool is getting too small for me now. But there's no point in getting a taller one. The floor can suit me just fine. I tightly gripped the neck of my guitar in my hands, it placed between my legs for comfort. Or at least, that's what I tried to trick my brain to believe. It wasn't comforting. My hands were holding it so tight the wood dug into my hands making my knuckles go white past my black skin on my hands. Cole must've noticed, as he spoke to me softly. "Hey, it's gonna be okay.." he said just above a whisper. His voice not as strong and encouraging as it used to be. But how could he? He's but only being getting worse. It worries me along with everything else. He sat across from me by the fire, sitting in mom's old rocking chair. Hunched over and forearms resting on his knees. I gave a nod, but it wasn't a convincing one. Not being able to even look him in the eyes. He was also stirring. We both couldn't sit still with worry. I even heard dad shift in his position by the door. Staring out the window as he often did. Coward. He should be in there with her. I was almost too lost in my thoughts before the bedroom door opened with a creak, and my head and ears perked up to the sound. As did Cole, only a few seconds faster then me. "Well?" Cole quickly stood up, and walked over to the doctor that had come out. Cole didn't look steady, but he hid it. "How is she?" He asked, clearly trying to fight back panic. The doctor slowly shook his head as he closed the door to my parents room behind him. "I'm sorry, but she doesn't have much time left. There's nothing more I can do for her.." He couldn't even look my brother in the eyes. Clearly he was broke by the news as much as we were. My eyes fell, but only for a second as I heard dad moved from his spot. "What do you mean 'she doesn't have much time left'? She's a strong women." My dad spoke sternly, and I could hear anger building up in it. As I often could tell. The doctor looked to my dad, and adjusted his glasses. Probably trying to get himself together to look tough towards my dad. Come on, don't even try dude. If you pissed him off, you pissed him off. "She's only gotten worse since I last checked her. I'm afraid she hasn't improved. As don't most from this certain plague. I'm sorry, but I've done everything I can." The doctor spoke bluntly, but with sympathy. Dad swore loudly at the doctor and stormed up to him, pointing a clawed finger at him. "That's the most poison that's come out of your mouth! You're a terrible lier and I can clearly see it! You say you are trying to help, but after a month of 'checking in on her' I think you're just trying to ring us of money!" He spat in the doctor's face, whom tried to take a controlled breath. "Now look, you and I both know-" but he didn't get to finish his sentence because my dad grabbed the collar of his coat. "I don't want to hear it, you slithering snake. But I have plenty to say to you, OUTSIDE." He finish with a violent push on the doctor, having him stumbling back almost to the floor. My dad stormed past the doctor, but not before grabbing the back of his coat collar and bragging him outside. The doctor sputtering words in fear trying to continue to explain, or to calm the situation. Yeah, that didn't work as the door slammed behind them. I still sat in my same spot, having just watched the whole thing. There was no way I was getting involved. This isn't the first time something like this as happened. A lot actually, being dad can never control his temper. I sighed/huffed, letting my ears and eyes drop. I could hear dad yelling at the doctor outside, but before I could figure out what they were saying, Cole interrupted. "Pst" And I looked to him slowly. He simply nodded to the door mom was in. "Come on." Was all he said, and waited for me. He wanted to make sure I'd follow him, because he knew I wouldn't go. I sighed defeated, more saddened and got up from the little stool. Placing my guitar to lean against it. "Bring it too." He added, and I looked to him with confusion. "What, why?" I asked. "Because I said too, and I want you to play this time." My eyes grew, and I quickly shook my head. "No. N-No no no, there's no way. I c-caah-" But he cut me off. "Yes you can. I know you can. She's heard me plenty. But let her hear you at least once." I got taken back from his words, drawing a blank stare. My eyes fell down to my-... his guitar. Still holding onto the neck of it with a deathly grip. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, and I took a deep breath. "Come on, she's waiting." Was the last thing Cole said before turning away, going to her room. I took a second to console myself, closing my eyes tightly. I didn't want to go in. I-I didn't want to see her. Not with how she is now. But, I can't.. I can't without saying goodbye. I'll never be able to forgive myself. So, I take one last breath and open my eyes. I slowly made my way in following my brother, guitar tightly in hand. My wings and tail lightly dragging behind me as the beating in my chest didn't cease. The door was slightly open now from Cole already having gone in, so a pressed my palm against it and the hinges creaked as the door slowly swung open. My eyes adjusted to the dimmer light, being the curtains were drawn. The room was basic, as was the rest of the house. A queen bed in the middle of the room with a simple nightstand beside it. And a large closet off to the left. Nothing more. I subtly took a breath as I took in the sight once again on the bed. Laying there motionless under a thick quilt, mother. Propped up on a bunch of pillows. She looked deathly ill, like she was clinging onto life, but yet peaceful at the same time. Her thin arm rested over her chest as it weakly rose and fell with raspy breaths. And the other hand was rested by her side, Cole holding it as he spoke something to her softly. I didn't want to get closer now. She was way worse then the last time I saw her. But it was too late. Her tired gaze slowly drifted over to me, and a sweet smile gently came across her face. "Don't be afraid, honey. It's just me.." she spoke with such comfort, the the sickness in her voice couldn't help but break through. Cole then also looked to me, his eyes clearly telling me to come closer. She then held out her arms to me knowing I wouldn't. "Come here love" and I couldn't refuse her. Not now. So I took in one last breath and slowly approached her. My guitar still tightly in my grasp. "Sit.." she spoke softly, her smile never fading. And I did, resting the guitar on the bed by her feet. Now I could truly see her. She had gotten so thin, being whatever she ate she couldn't keep down. She somehow looked even paler then her already white skin. The moment I sat down, she gently took my wrist and pulled it towards her. I was hesitant, but I didn't hold back. She slowly took me into a full hug, tightly wrapping her arms around me with little strength she had left. "I know you're afraid.." she whispered into my ear. "And you know what? So am I.." I was caught by surprise. I don't really know why, but I was. "But seeing you getting older without me, stronger each day has made me so proud of you. Don't you listen to your father. You being brave has showed me to be brave for my next journey.." her voice broke slightly. And when it did, I couldn't hold it back anymore. Dad always said to be strong, show no weakness. But I don't care. I burrowed my face into her neck and tightly wrapped my arms around her, completing the hug. "Oh my boy.." she hushed me gently as I let a few weak sobs break through. "Don't go.." I muttered. "I can't do this without you. I don't, I don't know-.." I got cut off by my own sobs. She hushed me gently again, stroking the back of my hair. "But you can, honey. You're already doing it.. you're stronger then you believe. You always have been. But I can't stop this sweetheart.." her voice was weak, but somehow held strong. My wings fall weak over her, but my hug tightened. "I know.." I say just above a whisper. She held me for a moment longer before lifting my face up to meet her kind eyes. Then kissed my forehead, and I let out a quiet whimper. "Now, you and I both know there's not much time left," she says as tears are building up in her eyes. "So can you do something for me?" I slowly sit up from the hug and gave a quick nod in response. "Anything." Her gaze falls to my guitar, and she lightly touched the end of it. "Play something for me? Anything, anything of your choosing." She smiled weakly, it breaking for a moment as drowsiness hit her. "I want to hear you play, this last time.." her voice died off in a weak breath as she fought back her eyes rolling backwards. I looked to the guitar, then back at her. Slowly giving a nod. No conference in it. I take the neck of the guitar gently in my hand and bring it over my lap, resting it down. I stare down at the guitar blankly as try to control my breathes from crying. When I finally did, I closed my eyes and placed my hands on the strings. I want to play her a song I'd been working on. Ever since Cole taught me my first lesson.

"As I walk through these fields of death, I know this is the hell where I belong

For I am a demon amongst this pit, I still feel like I am lost. Even though I am at home

As I walk though these paths of hate, my heart still can't help but break. Because I know, this isn't where I belong

My heart yearns for something more, but how can it when nothing was there?
As I walk through these fields of death

But even though I walk this path, I know someday I'll find my way. That reason we kept on. The blood, the tears. I know weren't for nothing

Because one day, I'll find my way. Through these fields of death.."

Tears had built up in my eyes as I sang it, and I finished with a shaky breath. I don't know if it was the song, or because of what was happening. I slowly lifted my gaze to my mother, and she laid there. Motionless. Her eyes no longer open. Her arm stretched out towards me, limp on the quilt. My eyes slowly drifted over to Cole whom was still holding her other hand. His own eyes met mine, and tears hand built up in his eyes too. He didn't need to say anything or do anything. I already knew. She was gone..