numb || winchester!sister series

Chapter 5

'You've been doing alright?' Sam gave me a soft smile.

I nodded, 'Yeah... I'm still traumatized about the whole Alex thing but I'll be fine.'

'I'm sorry it took me a whole year to come visit you. Dean and I've been busy.'

'It's okay. To be honest, I didn't think I was ever going to see you again.'

Sam frowned, scooting next to me as the couch squeaked. 'No matter how far you are, you're my responsibility. Besides, I can't miss your graduation.'

I smiled, 'Nice to know that I'm loved.'

'You know Dean loves you too.'

'Sam, can we not talk about him please.'

'Ever since you left, he's been quiet. All we ever talk about is hunting and nothing else. Bobby and I are worried about him.'

I huffed, 'So now he wants to keep his runny mouth shut?'

'I'm serious, Y/N. Dean isn't himself anymore. I'm sure he misses you.'

My voice became louder, fuming. 'Where is he then? If he misses me so much why doesn't he come here and apologize?'

'You know him, he's stubborn.'

With a confused look on my face, I continued. 'Sammy, why are you defending him?'

'I'm not. You guys are my family and I just miss all of us together again.'

During the bus ride back to UCLA after I left the motel that night, I felt guilty about how I ended things with Dean. There were countless times where I wanted to pick up the phone and apologize, but I just knew our conversation would eventually lead us to another fight.

'You're talking to the wrong person, you know that right? He's the one being a jerk.'

Sam stayed calm, despite my strong emotions. 'I was hoping you'd go talk to him.'

'Even if I do talk to him, we'll just fight again. It's not worth it and you know that.'

'Would you change your mind if I told you he's here?'

That statement caught me by surprise, making my jaw drop. 'He came all the way here and won't even come in?'

He shrugged, 'Go talk to him, Y/N.'

'Oh, I will talk to him.' I quickly got up and headed out to the parking lot.

Sam caught up as he put his hand on my shoulder. 'Just don't be too mad at him.'

I turned around to face him, 'You wanted me to feel bad for him yet he was here the whole time when he could've come talk to me himself. Of course I'm going to be mad.'

'Y/N...' Ignoring him calling out my name, I approached the familiar Impala. 'Dean!'

The oldest brother turned around with a surprised look on his face. 'Wow, you're coming to see me? How nice.'

'Quiet my ass.' I recalled the conversation I had with Sam earlier. 'You're annoying as always.'

'Just tell her how you feel, Dean. The truth. Bobby and I know you've been acting strange lately.'

Dean opened the door as he let himself out the car, 'The last time we saw each other, Y/N said that she's not my sister anymore.'

Sam grunted, 'Stop being a child and just say what's on your mind.'

'Do you want to know what's on my mind?' Dean took a step closer to me. 'You're wasting your time here in college and I keep telling you but you never listened. Now I don't give a shit because you're not family anymore.'

'You never cared about me, Dean. All you cared about is what you wanted.'

Dean huffed, 'I wanted what was right for the family.'

'So you thought it was okay to scream at me instead of talking to me about it? Do you know how I felt all these years?' Tears started falling from my eyes as I had flashbacks. 'You made me feel like shit. The brother that I always looked up to, the person I trusted more than my dad turned against me and hated me for something that I genuinely wanted to achieve in.'

'You never once yelled at Sam for going to college, but once I even brought up the idea of wanting to go, you made me feel guilty. I'm sorry I want a normal life and I'm sorry I don't have the desire to be a hunter, Dean. But all I wanted was for you to be proud of what I do even if it was something you didn't approve of. '

Dean continued to stare at me as I sniffled, his facial expression hasn't changed a bit.

'I actually felt bad about how I left things before I walked out that door last year. I wished that I took back what I said about you not being my brother. I was too scared to apologize to you because I didn't know how you'd react. But now I don't. I hate you, Dean.'

He kept a straight face, 'Are you done?'

I chuckled out of frustration, 'Don't bother coming to graduation tomorrow. Now I'm done.' I turned around and walked back to my room as I heard Sam and Dean arguing in the background.