What I think will happen if I survive Apocalypse

Scenario #2

"Hey"

"Heeeeey"

"Heeeeeyyyyy world to Jes are you there?!!"

"Can you stop being annoying for once? Like. Shut up. Just for an hour. Or 30 mins. Heck I'd be fine with 10 mins. of silence!"

"Okay. You don't have to shout"

"Well thank you"

"But- aren't you the weird one? There's literally nobody but us here and you still want me to shut up. Like the whole world just ended, isn't that enough space and silence for you?"

I looked at him and stared in disbelief.

"I need some quiet time to think. We're running out of food and water and we'll both die if I stopped thinking, you know that"

"Well I'm a fairy I can survive for weeks without-"

"I guess fairies aren't used to thinking then!"

"Hey! We're just not used to indulging ourselves in useless worries! And you know I won't allow you to die!"

"Yeah you won't allow me to die coz you're a useless fairy who got bitten by a zombie coz you can't stop being curious and loud so now you need to feed on pure human blood to survive thus getting kicked out by your clan. Congratulations for getting upgraded to a blood sucking fairy!!!"

"Sshhh. Quiet. I heard something"

"Stop fucking with me Arion! I'm not in the mood to-"

"You're never in the mood so shut up, I seriously heard something this time. For real. Fairy promise"

I rolled my eyes but decided to shut up nonetheless.

Bang!

It's the sound of the garage door being opened.

Arion and I looked at each other.

"Didn't you lock the door after getting in?! I told you countless times already!" I screamed at him silently while throwing daggers through my eyes. If looks could kill I hope it could kill fairies too.

"Well sorry, fairies don't need doors. Duh?!"

"Well since it's your fault go check it out" I motioned for him to move towards the garage.

"Even if it's your fault I'd still be the one to check it tsk!"

What's taking him so long? Is he dead? He's already a vampire fairy it shouldn't be a big deal even if he's bitten.

Feeling uneasy, I reluctantly stepped towards the door leading to the garage pressing my ears into it.

"Fuck why is it so quiet now?"

I took a deep breath and held the doorknob when it suddenly opened causing me to fall flat on my butt.

"Hey Jes, there are people here claiming to be pure humans! Oh. What are you doing on the floor? We have plenty of chairs anyway stand up, you're blocking the way"

"Fuck you" I stood up and glared at him before moving out of the way picking up my sword and shield while I'm at it (yes the world ended and I raided a weeb store)

"Sorry for intruding, you don't have to worry we're pure humans. We passed the scanner, see? WAIT -- JES?!"

I finally looked up at the newcomers while clumsily strapping my sword on my waist.

"OH MY GOSH! SUN?! ABBY?! YOU'RE HERE TOO?! WHERE'S NICK AND ELI?! OHMYGOSH!". I can't control myself and ran towards them to hug them.

"We got separated because of the fruit rain the other day. It was strawberry this time and it's hard to find shelter while looking out for zombies" Abby said in a somber tone.

"I'm sorry. Well I'm sure they're okay. Well, get inside first, I'll prepare some food while you rest. By the way Arion, this is Sun and Abby. Abby, Sun this is Arion. And oh, he's a vampire fairy, you can ask him anything you want since he'll die if he doesn't get attention".

I made my way to the kitchen and start racking my brain on how to divide the remaining food ration.

"So guys tell me, has she always been a grumpy cat?"

"Shut up Arion, I can hear you"

"See?"