Goodbye Callie Torres

Chapter Three

It's times like these that I wish Mark were still alive. He was my right hand, 'my person' as Mer likes to say. I'm not the kind of person who had friends growing up. I had relationships that were on and off and they were always my best friends at the time. That's probably where it went wrong. Lovers as best friends: it doesn't work well. If you lose one, you'll automatically lose the other.

I learnt I had to keep my partners and friends separate when I got divorced from George. George was my best friend and my ex-husband and as you can tell it didn't work as he's now my ex-husband. So, when I started dating Erica Hann, I let Mark stand by me. He was the one who made me open to the idea of dating women and that it was ok for me to do so. He made sure I felt safe and accepted and that it is not an issue to be with someone of the same sex. He is also the main reason as why I tested the waters with Erica Hann. If I hadn't done that; if he hadn't stuck by me through everything I wouldn't have gotten together with Arizona.

Arizona was one very special person in my life as well. Although Mark didn't like her at first, he was happy I was happy and whenever I needed reassurance, he was always there giving it to me. After George I never thought I would marry again; Arizona changed that. She made me the happiest women alive until we got in each other's way. We did try hard after Mark died to keep the peace. He would always come in and save us so when he was no longer here to be our hero in the flesh things always came crashing down and when things come crashing down damage is always caused. Sadly, that damage never got fixed. When we took the thirty day break it was hard at first because we'd been together for so long, but we then realised how unhappy we made each other. In the end we realised that we didn't need each other anymore to survive. We've stayed civil with each other obviously because of Sofia and in a way, Arizona is now one of my best friends. Nothing can change the past and all the memories we created, and the secrets shared and the happiness that was once there. It's those things that are going to make moving to New York hard. That's if we even go. After that phone call with Penny, I'm not so sure. This is one reason why I wish Mark never died; he would know what to do! I guess I do still have the next best thing.

When I arrive at work, I check the attendings lounge for Arizona first. She is normally hanging out in there with April. They always try to hang out in there for as long as possible before April gets called into the pit or Arizona gets pulled into surgery. As I walk in, they're sitting down at the table. Arizona has her back to me and I automatically freeze. I've never come to her with relationships before; well, I haven't been in a relationship since her. What if she doesn't think if it's ok that I come to her with this? It does involve Sofia though at the end of the day as she is coming to New York with me.

"Oh, hey Callie!"

I could literally see Kepner sitting there opposite Arizona and I totally forgot how happy and bubbly she is and that...

"Want to come and sit down with us and talk about New York?"

...how into everyone's business she is.

"Sure,"

This is such a bad idea. As it stands, I'm not going to New York.

"You told her?" I ask Arizona. I mean, I didn't not ask her to not tell anyone, but she should have waited for me to tell people myself.

"Yeah sorry. Was that not ok?"

"No, yeah it's fine I don't mind." I do mind.

How on earth am I supposed to tell her now. She thinks its all going ahead and its not! If Sofia weren't involved, I would just go. I could have gone and got an apartment in some other part of New York. New York is a big place and Penny and I have jobs at different hospital's so it's unlikely that I would ever see her. Lucky for me both their pagers go off; they're both needed down in the pit.

"Can we not tell anyone else I would like to make sure I have the job at the hospital first if that's ok?"

"Sure!" They both say as they leave. I now understand why Arizona is so ok with me going. She was right about how both of Sofia's mothers deserve to be happy. I want to be happy, and she wants me to be happy so everything between us is ok. I'll find her later to talk to her about everything.