Not Spider-Man

Before you knew

It was late night when you heard someone knocking at your window. You stood up from the bed and went to open the window. When he saw you, Peter took off the mask, revealing himself under the moonlight.

"Can I come in?" he asked, with a tiny voice. You nodded. He walked to the center of the room, thinking about what to say to you probably, but there were no excuses, no more words that could make you feel better about that situation. The fact that you felt something for Spider-Man. And therefore, for him. But he didn't know that. "Please, let me explain."

"Flash is fine, by the way. I saw at the news that you defeated another bad guy," you said, crossing your arms. Your tone was annoyed, probably.

"Yeah, I did," Peter sighed. "That's why I didn't reveal my identity to you. I wanted to keep you safe," he said.

"I see. Does May know about this?"

"Yes. MJ and Ned do too, but only because they sorta found out. But if Flash did too, it means that I'm not good enough to keep a secret," he said, swallowing. He seemed really concerned... and sad. You felt your heart aching for him. You wanted to hug him, but you restrained yourself from doing it.

"Were you on a mission at Washington?" you asked and he nodded. "So that's the real reason why you didn't come with us..."

"I told you: I can't be Spider-Man and have an ordinary life. I wanted to go with you, but I couldn't. I managed to come early just to look for you and luckily I found you on time," he said.

"I can't believe that you're Spider-Man... this seems a nightmare," you said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Peter flinched.

"Why? Because I'm not strong enough to be a superhero?" he asked and you soon realized that you said it in a bad way.

"No Peter, I didn't mean that. You can be whatever you want, you're capable of doing whatever you put your mind into, I believe in you".

"Then what did you mean?"

"It's complicated," you breathed out.

"No, I think it's pretty clear, Y/N: you think that I'm weak. And I mean, I can't even be mad at you, because I am! I'm scared all the time and mister Stark is still teaching me how to be an Avenger, but I'm trying," he said.

"Peter, please..." you tried to say, standing up, but he took a step back.

"You were supposed to love me," he said and your heart broke at the statement. "To care about me. Was it all a lie? Our friendship? Answer me, Y/N!"

"I can't be in love with my best friend!" you blurted out.

Peter froze. It was like every piece of air was taken abruptly from his lungs. He couldn't believe it.

"You... what?"

You swallowed hard.

"The crush I had on Spider-Man? Real. The jokes about my obsession for him? Dumb, but kinda true. I actually investigated with Flash to find out who he was. Who you were. But now I'm wondering if I liked him because he was actually you," you said.

Peter took a step further to be closer to you. You could even inhale his scent. His lips quivered.

"Did you feel something for me before you knew I was Spider-Man?"

You breathed out, a single tear escaping from your eye. You felt like you were slowly drowning.

"I don't know."

Peter bit his lip, nodding. It was like he was agreeing with his mind about something. Maybe it was saying to him that you didn't feel anything romantic towards him.

"I did."

And that was all he said before he left.