“Hey !” Macy sits down gingerly beside me on the Infirmary bed, and she sounds – and looks – all ready to throw her hands around me, but then, she surprises me by crossing her arms beneath her chest in an effort to stay still. Which I really appreciate.
And I get it. I do. I feel like doing just that every time I see her these days. To thank her, and Grace, for what new chance they have given me at life. At making new, and correct decisions. At love.
“How're you feeling ?” She clears her throat nervously and fidgets with her hands.
“Mace–“
“Grace told me to tell you to get well soon –“
“Macy–“
“–and Hudson said he wanted you to join us for playing chess, so –“
“Whoa Macy, take a breath.” I laugh, and then groan as the sound rings in my head.
“Sorry!” She laughs too, and moves her hand to rest on mine, squeezing gently, and I really, really wonder how I haven’t kissed her yet. “ I’m just...anxious.”
“I know.” I tell her, because I do. The last few days...weeks have been just that. From the visit to the Dragon Boneyard to the Ludares game to The Unkillable Beast and Grace’s trial, anxious is an understatement of what I’m feeling.
I still can’t believe I was so wrong about so many things.
About the Vampire King.
About the Unkillable Beast.
About Grace.
About Hudson.
About all of them.
It’s the reason I’m here today, lying on this Infirmiry, useless, while Grace has to handle graduation from Katmere, a new place at the Circle, a rogue mating bond, all while healing from the Eternal Bite.
“Xavier !” Macy squeezes my hand again, a bit tighter than earlier, “You’re blaming yourself again, aren’t you ?”
I don’t say anything, because what else am I supposed to do ? I can’t lie to her, but I can’t say yes too. I can’t dissappoint her anymore than I already have.
“It’s not your mistake, Xavier.” Macy says with a stern voice,eyes calculating and observing with an expression that all but screams do not lie to me.
And of course I won’t.
“We all made the decision to go and kill the Unkillable Beast.”
“But Grace literally begged us not to.” I tell her softly, guilt burning at the back of my throat like fire.
“We thought Hudson was evil.”
“But he isn’t, Mace. He isn’t. And I can’t believe that we ignored Grace like that.”
Macy sighs, drops her head and breathes. Once. Twice. Then says, “ Yes. I get it. But it’s on all of us, and not just you. We didn’t know the truth, Xavier. Bit we do now. And the only thing you, me and everyone else can do about it is accept it and try to undo our mistakes.”
I know she’s saying all that just to make me happy. But I can’t see the sense in the words. How do you undo what you’ve already done ? “How exactly ?”
“The first thing you can do is to talk to Hudson. Or atleast, try to.” She replies, and I try – and fail – to ignore the hopeful note in her voice. Grace had told me about the growing friendship between the two. I, on the other hand, can’t even bring myself to look that man in his eyes.
“ Hudson doesn’t blame you – or anyone – for anything .”
“But I do, Mace. I can’t believe I said all those mean things about him without even trying to find out the truth.” Grace had told me that Hudson could hear all that we spoke about him during his time inside her head. And that makes me feel worse than I would admit it does.
Macy looks confused for a few seconds, fingers curling around mine tightly which sends zings of pleasure coursing throughout my body despite the sombre environment surrounding the both of us.
But then finally, finally, she nods. I know she doesn’t understand all that I’m feeling, but she’s trying to. Just the thought of that makes me feel warm and cozy at places it’s not supposed to.
“It’s okay, Xavier. I’m here for you, always.” She accompanies the last word with another final squeeze of her hand, before getting up and smoothening up her Katmere uniform. “I have to go now. Hudson’s helping me with chess this evening. He wins all the time, but still, it’s fun. He’s fun.” She shakes her head with a sigh and I snort. It’s impossible not to when she makes that cute, whiny face.
“Okay, then. Wish you luck. Bye !”
“Bye ! I'll visit again.” She wishes with a wave of her hand as she heads towards the door.
I stare at her retreating form with a huge grin on my face. Macy – only Macy – with her rainbow attitude and a smile brighter than the Sun's, has the power to make my day a thousand times better with just a word.
Which is why I decide to atleast try to reciprocate all that she has done for me. “By the way, I’m liking the new hair.” I wink at her as she turns around with a questioning look on her face.
“Oh...uhhh...” She stutters, hand combing lightly through her rainbow pixie hair, face as red as a tomato.
My grin widens at the thought that I made her blush. Feel that way.
Special. Just like she always makes me feel.
“Iamgettinglatebye !” She says in a breath as she sprints out of the door, and I’m left laughing, wondering if she really was right.
Even if she’s not, I’ll try. If not for me, then for Hudson. For Grace. For her.
YOU ARE READING
Some Other Way ( Macy/Xavier ff)
FanfictionXavier's death was probably the saddest moment in the whole of Crave series. But what if things didn't turn out the way they did ? What if The Unkillable Beast had gotten some mercy on poor Macy ? What if Xavier actually survived ?
