Tell Me How It Feels

Chapter Eighteen

A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit strange. My brain has gone completely dead every time I try to write it, and most of it's on my phone. It's pretty long I think, and my thumbs are in so much pain right now.

Ooops, done it again. Wrote two chapters in one.

Unedited, again... One day, they shall be edited properly.

Anyway, next chapter (chapter nineteen)... A BIG ONE, one that's been due for a long long long time.

Just incase you're confused, the large bits in italics are the past/memories, and what have you.

Caysie. x

Chapter Eighteen

  Joel shot up quickly from the chair opposite Finlay, causing a dull rattle as the metal chair legs rocked on the plastic floor. Finlay jumped in his seat and looked up from his thumbs, which he had been thoughtlessly irritating the skin of with his nails for the last hour or so.

"What is it?" Finlay asked with hope, wide-eyed and tense.

Joel's hair looked extra black today against the dazzling gleam of the white walls, and made his face look much paler than it usually was. Finlay couldn't blame the loss of colour on his hair, he was sure that, if he were to look in the mirror, he'd see that he was just as drained too.

  Slowly, Joel raised his hands the direction of the corridor and half-whispered, "I was just gonna see if there's a coffee machine. Want anything?"

Finlay dropped his eyes to the now-still chair Joel had previously rattled, and gazed dreamily off to the left where more of the red plastic objects were placed. He replied, "no thanks. Be back soon, yeah?"

"Of course," Joel smiled sympathetically and ruffled his hair before turning away.

 Finlay watched as Joel's figure became smaller. Usually, Finlay automatically imagined a conversation between himself and another, when he saw Joel walking. It was always joking on about how 'fat' Joel was, even though they all knew he wasn't even close. At this point in the day, however, he couldn't even bring himself to smile inside his head.

  It was until Joel rounded a corner and disappeared, that Finlay could sit silently again and think about nothing yet everything. 

  A particular shadow on the floor caught his interest. He wasn't sure what was casting it, but he assumed that it was possibly just where the light bended around a small dint. He stared at it hard, not wanting to look up and accept his surroundings. 

   Timothy would be here soon, which would make three out of four of them here. Finlay had tried to call Jay many times, left him messages and voicemails, but he wasn't responding. After Joel had tried afterwards, they gave up, knowing that there was nothing they could do but ask Timothy to call in and see if he was at his flat.

   His throat started aching and he grasped at his violently with shaking hands. He was upset, of course, that not everyone would be here, and for a moment he actually felt anger towards Jay. He'd have to speak with him soon, he hadn't been the same since Hayley had passed. Obviously he didn't expect him to be, but with the random disappearance and lack of contact, Finlay felt something needed to be said.

   Hayley. Ryan's sister.

  He looked up quickly and inhaled sharply. Removing his elbows from his thighs, he tried to remember which way Joel had turned around the corner. Left or right? He jumped out of his seat even quicker than Joel had, but his chair remained still. Unlike Joel's ascent, however, all the people in the room turned to look at Finlay. All the busy people in white boards paused quickly to cast him a look, then carried on studying their clipboards or moving equipment.