Tell Me How It Feels

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

"So what do we do now?" Joel sighed impatiently, sitting on a large rock surrounded by gravel and smaller stones.

Finlay continued staring at his phone in his hands, and he gently rubbed the screen numerous times with his thumbs, leaving visible marks on the black surface, "dunno."

Up until about two minutes ago, Finlay, Timothy and Joel had all intended to pick up Ryan from the hospital if they were able, but then their plans were foiled once Jay had called.

Since the funeral was tomorrow, Jay wanted to know when Ryan was released so they could organise some final things together. Finlay had told him they were on their way to see him, though he didn't mention that they were actually currently walking through the car park. Jay insisted that he pick him up, so they could get to things as soon as possible, and Finlay hesitantly agreed, knowing that it was for the best. Consequently, they found themselves sitting on a bench, and a recreational stone decoration in Joel's case, just thinking about what to do next.

"We could go out for lunch?" Timothy suggested from his place on the wet wooden bench. Finlay still stared downwards, but gave an acceptance nod to the paved floor.

"Don't feel like it," Joel mumbled from beneath his dark shelter of hair, his swirling breath visible in the cold, stale air.

Finlay whipped his head up, and he could feel Timothy beside him staring at Joel exactly how he was. Full of surprise.

"You sure?" Timothy asked slowly, evidently confused, and leaned forward in his sit.

"You never pass food down," Finlay continued and cast Timothy, who looked so shocked it was quite frightening, a concerned sideways glance.

"Don't feel like it," he repeated and dumped his chin lazily and roughly into his open hand,  which was supported by his bent elbow resting on his thigh.

Finlay continued to gawp at him, wondering what he was currently thinking about. Joel loved eating, he could consume food for England if he ever got the chance, and he was certainly not the one to refuse lunch. In fact, there had only ever been two occasions where Finlay had saw Joel pass down food in the whole seven or so years he had known him.

Once, years ago, when Finlay and Ryan had stayed at Joel's for a while due to Timothy, Jay and Rachel having Tonsillitis. He had been drinking a lot on one of the nights, and every time he even looked at the food Ryan was eating he would nearly be sick. It was strange to watch, Joel retching uncontrollably every few minutes, but Finlay had let loose that night and gotten drunk too, so it was more of an amusement at the time. Plus Ryan kept moving his pizza box ever so closer to Joel, and he was squirming and trying to move but he just couldn't pick himself up properly. In the end he did end up being sick, all over Ryan's jacket which he had thrown to the side.

The other was exactly five years ago in four days. It was Joel's 23rd birthday, and they were celebrating it at his favourite club, which just happened to be the favourite club of everyone who turned up too. It was tradition for anyone in the band to spend their birthday and New Year's Eve there. Joel had been enjoying the night, you could see him attempting to dance in the middle of the small floor, talking, laughing with most people there, but he hadn't eaten all night. At some point he had came and sat down with Finlay who was beside, and had been listing to, Joel's mother's as she made broad snide comments about her son. Once Joel was seated, he had waited for there to be some sort of conversation, but all three of them sat not saying anything. Eventually, Finlay stood up and asked Joel if he wanted some food, since he was heading to get some, but he had just shaken his head rigidly and kept his jaw in its firm, still position.