The Babysitter - knj

(40) Warm

Namjoon's POV (Your POV sometimes in bold text)

She was acting strange.

Due to the risk of paparazzi catching him outside, Namjoon had been forced to stay in the house with his son and Y/N, something he would totally live on any other occasion but Y/N was avoiding him.

The door to his office opens, letting a little light in. Light's she's probably about to turn off as bedtime was awfully early nowadays.

"Chanyeol's fell asleep, dinner's ready." She has been doing this thing recently. Walking into his office in her short cute pajamas and not getting close to him, not even a small kiss or anything.

When he stands and tries to reach for her hand or just- when he gets close to her, she's backing away, a frown on her face as she avoided eye contact.

"Oh..." he looked at her, she played with her pretty hands, (hands he'd like to hold) chewing on her lip (which he really wanted to kiss as well,) and nervously shifting every time he moved around her. He didn't have the guts to tell her if she could accompany him. He felt clingy, annoying. No matter what he wanted to do or how much he wanted to do it to her, she seemed hesitant, scared even as she hid away from him. "Err... you can be dismiss-"

"Thank you so much! Goodnight!" She would speak quickly and spin on her heel, rushing to her bedroom... the place where she seemed to be locking herself in recently. There's been scraping and moving around, not loud enough to wake Chanyeol up but she was always doing something in her room. Even more and more packages seemed to be arriving under her name by the day.

He was too scared to ask. He felt like he shouldn't have.... Like he's prying too much into her life.

It's been three days since she's talked to him... Sure, she's had a short conversation about whatever was going on or when Chanyeol brought both of them up into his little imaginary scenarios or anything of the sort.

He felt alone.

Again.

Especially at times like this where he had to walk around the empty home, no one to talk to and no one to spend time with.

He hated to admit it, but eating dinner all alone in the empty kitchen while everyone was asleep... it reminded him of Sunhee.

He sits there eating his dinner alone and enjoys the warmth of the food, it was reheated perfectly enough for him and despite the situation is familiar, it is nothing like how it used to be.

About an hour passed, Namjoon found himself scrolling through his phone with the empty plate sitting cold in front of him. He reads a new book he has recently stumbled upon that just seemed to be never-ending.

Only when he reaches the fourteenth chapter does he notice how long he's been sitting there.

Maybe it was the romance of the book or just having gone days without having a proper conversation with the woman he liked, but Namjoon found himself in front of the bedroom door.

He doesn't knock- he doesn't feel like he can. So he rests his back against the wood and slides down, his head leaning back against it.

"Hey Sunshine," he jokes and smiles to himself, knowing she was probably asleep.

You could see his shadow, he was there, so close to you.

"I know you're probably asleep and it's probably dumb for me not to say this to you face to face..."

But he feels so far. So distant. So... different from you.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I know that I must've done something bad or weird for you to avoid me and it's probably so selfish of me to still want you to not leave my sight."

What is he on about? You can't help but wonder as you move around in the carpeted room, careful to make a noise.

"It's probably really selfish of me to tell you that I want you to start talking to me every day like you used to. I mean, it's so clear you're uncomfortable around me and maybe it's because I was an idiot and let my location be found out and you don't want anything to do with me-" He takes a deep breath.

It wasn't that he wasn't used to saying what he was thinking but he cared about Y/N. "You have become an important person in my son's life. He likes you compared to the many other people who were brought here to help me take care of him." He was amused by the fact. "Hell, ever since you stepped foot here, he got attached to you."

Should you open the door? What would he say? You want to keep hearing what he wants to say but does he actually want you to hear this? Jeez, are you shaking right now?

"I think I was too... Attached, I mean." His head thuds against the door again, he's trying to make some sound in the silent hall. "I don't know or understand why you're upset with me but I really wish you'd tell me. I rely on you a lot, you're my emotional pillar at this point, it isn't good, but it'd be great if I become yours."

Your eyes are watery and the first tear on your eye was your first indication, you were falling hard for this man. Your hands reach the doorknob but you stop.

"I really want to go on that date with you. I really want to go on many dates with you. I l- I really like you Y/N."

That's when you realized that no matter how 'unworthy' you were of Namjoon. You didn't want to let him go. Not yet. Not without trying. So you swing the door open and Namjoon comes falling down on the floor.

His head harshly hits the floor and he's looking at her almost upside down. Her eyes are watered, her breathing looks uneven as she looks at him with the cutest look on her face. "Say that again."

"What do you me-" he tried sitting up to have a good look at her only to find her pulling him into the room and closing the door behind them. Her lips crash against his and although surprised, he's instantly melting into the kiss.

His eyes do wander around the room for a second. "Those are a lot of paintings..." He smiles when he pulls away and a giggle slips past her lips.

"That's what you plan on focusing on right now?" Her hands reach the bottom of his shirt and she's tugging on it as if to ask for permission for him to take it off. He would've hesitated but this was a huge relief to him; she wasn't fading away. She's right here.

You're right here.

He removes his shirt and leans into another kiss where the two of you are slowly climbing on the bed, his hands moving up your thighs and pulling your shorts up the most he could.

Her skin is warm and somehow that warmth spread throughout his whole body as well.

They continue kissing until Namjoon pulls away again, staring at her for as long as he could, trying to memorize every single curve and edge of your face. "No, but seriously... What's up with the paintings?" He jokes quietly and she reaches for his face, their lips crashing again.

"Leave the paintings alone man," she speaks mid-kiss.

This warmth... was nice.