The Babysitter - knj

(48) Stupid

Your POV - A/N: took a while and I tried to write two chapters to make up for it but it was taking too long so here you go :)

"You've been in love before, right? What is it like?"

"Y/N..." you weren't sure if it was his actual expression- you hope with all your might it wasn't because when you look at Namjoon after the question, all you see is a guilty look on his face. "It's complicated- you see-" he stops himself from talking and takes a deep breath. "Sunhee- I- she-"

You shouldn't have asked. You shouldn't have. You take a deep breath and shake your head. "It's fine." My voice cracked, please tell me he didn't notice. You feel hurt. Of course, it made sense. Chanyeol was still young, three years was probably not enough for him to move on.

"Y/N, I-"

"Forget I asked the question, Joon, it was in the spur of the moment." You reach your shaky hand out and caress his hand before pulling away from him.

Chanyeol shifts around in his spot and you instantly change the topic. "We can talk another time, when Chanyeol's less... asleep, yeah?"

Namjoon looks confused, his expression shifted into one you hadn't seen before. He clears his throat quietly and shifts around to hug Chanyeol.

You awkwardly close your eyes and take a deep breath. "He doesn't love me back. He still loves Sunhee- at least a part of him does.' You shake your head and feel Namjoon's hand move around to hold yours. You flinch and open your eyes wide for a second upon realizing what you were just thinking. You love him.

Trouble trouble.

Love is complicated but when thinking about it, you realize it's not that difficult to comprehend. Not when you're in love with a person like Namjoon and you want him to love you back. You tried not to question when it happened, you didn't even try to question why. The only thing you thought about was that you have to make him realize- or just trick him into thinking- that you're better. As conceited as it may sound.

Namjoon opens his eyes and looks at you. "We can talk about it now, Y/N. You're looking at me scary right now."

You shake your head and sit up slightly to kiss his temple. "I want ice cream before going home."

"That's completely fine with me and I think it'll be completely fine with Chanyeol." He smiles nervously, closing his eyes back up while you still look at him.

'I just have to seduce him' that's the goal.

...and so it starts...

...

This is so stupid. So so so stupid.

It was the right day to start it. Partying out with old college friends who had gotten their dream jobs in the states. Dinner then partying at a club right after, nothing too over the top.  Like your dress.

The dress was great, it showed just enough skin that you didn't feel uncomfortable and it was tight enough that it showed off your body in the way that you liked it because at the same time it didn't press too much that made it look unappealing to you. It was one of your favorite dresses, one that you had bought back when you were rebelling against your parents but actually never worn outside the house.

You just aren't sure that this is the way to go when seducing Namjoon into falling in love with you...

You turn around, looking over your shoulder and eyeing yourself up and down.