Serendipity

FOUR

-KAIYA-

Slowly I shifted my body up, he successfully caught the hint and in between kisses he maneuvered my body into his lap and my legs hugged his waist. I could not get enough, the way our bodies fit perfectly like two puzzle pieces and the fact that Ive never been able to feel this much from a physical interaction was addictive.

It was like drugs. Everything I promised to stay away from.

I pulled away to catch a breath while observed his face, his lips where swollen and painted in my nude chapstick. Within moments his content expression shifted and he seemed clouded with worry.

"Are you okay?" I questioned responding to his face stroking the hair hanging over his eyes back. Aiden hesitated before replying to my question.

"I don't want to be an asshole by saying this and I want to be honest but whatever I do its going to come of rude. I'm really sorry." he declared his gaze glued to the grass.

"Just tell me, Im not going to be mad. I assured him." I value honesty its essential to existence of a healthy bond between two human beings. I favor a hurtful truth over an easy lie but I wondered what seemed so grave to tell me.

"I'm not really looking for a relationship right now, yes I might miss the fun things but Im off to college soon and I just got out of one and I dont want to do the drama again-." he nervously expressed his worries.

"Don't worry, Im not keen on a relationship either." I let out relieved yet I felt bad that I didnt worry about it. I am so insensitive and internally punched myself for it. One thing I am insecure about is my personality, the way I am insensitive and too blunt.

I was never insecure about my appearance. I'm aware that I look beautiful to most people and ever I got out of puberty boys seemed drawn to me. However, beauty to me is a matter of perception, beauty standards disgust me. I spoke to many teenage girls which I thought were beautiful but it saddened me how they would point out their too large foreheads, hip dips or too thin lips that fit their body like the last puzzle piece of a stunning picture.

"You're not sarcastic, are you?" he asked again seeking affirmation to which I shook my head with a small reassuring smile. "Good, I was so scared." he breathed relieved.

"Yeah, you look like you've pissed yourself." I joked hoping to cheer up the mood.

"Ey, girls can be intimidating at least the ones that I've met and you're so chill that also scares the crap out of me." Aiden admitted.

"What did the girls did to your trust?" I teased as I carried eating my cold noodles still sitting on his lap but he didnt mind the closure, his hands rested on my back while he ranted about his bad experiences and we laughed about our fails in relationships and dating. Aidens stories concerning girls were one bloody thing but the ones where males were involved were even worse. Honestly, I felt bad for him, the guy had not even one decent experience no wonder he detested dating and relationships if I would be in his shoes I'd do too.

I only been in one relationship in my whole life and what he did to me that night I will never forget. Ever since then I have not been able to trust anyone romantically anymore and I promised myself I would never fall in love again and ever since then I have been able to crush on anyone and Aiden was the second one I've ever felt attracted to physically.

We were on our way back to school with filled stomachs and stilled desire, he pulled into the school parking lot and we both got out of the car. Our ways parted because my next class was in the opposite direction.

"Wait." He said gently tugging my shirt before could walk away and I turned back around. He softly brushed over my hair with his hands straightening the messed up hair I now spotted in the reflection of his car window. His hand moved carefully not wishing to hurt me.