trapped//dsmp

1/?

ok a/n to start off with. I'm sorry if it isn't formatted great I had a lot of ideas all at once. also in this fic I'm thinking michael is around 15/16 in age just for reference

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there was never any other kids around.
not once.
no one except my dads "friends".
lately it seems like I'm a shell of myself and I can't get the core back.
I feel like an animal. my parents say they're protecting me but what exactly are they protecting me from?
is it really the outside world. is it the people? is it them?
they keep secrets from me and pretend like we're perfect when all I want to do is be normal.
but normal people are allowed to make mistakes.
I know doing this isn't a mistake.
They can't protect me from everyone.

They can't protect me from myself.

/

everything is spinning, how did I get here.
I thought it could be easy.
I thought I could just pop a bottle of pills and go to sleep like that. but here I am clutching my stomach trying not to make too much noise crying while my parents are just downstairs having their morning coffee.

I can hear a faint door creaking and then slam and the booming of the voice I know all too well.
good old technoblade.
If I could guarantee on anyone letting their guard down and being sad over me gone it would be him.
and with his voice comes his booming steps making his way to my room, I could tell.
everything was still spinning and I almost thought I was about to pass out or throw up or both when I heard the door creak open.
He walked in and downstairs my dad tubs yelled out "he's probably still asleep!"
I wish I could be asleep- the pain was almost unbearable at this point.
he was bearing his full attire by the little clangs he made as he walked in.
he stepped to the edge of my bed and leaned over with a semi- gentle "hey bud, u awake?"
I knew he saw my eyes open but I could not get up and face him with my current state.
he walked around and his gaze fell upon the one and only note that resided on my nightstand.
I had my eyes wide open and my forehead was damp with sweat just at the pure thought that it might not work and I'd have to face people after this.
he crouched down and picked it up asking, "what's this?".  I closed my eyes and tried to think of nice things before I would hopefully just pass out already.
techno's breathing that was until then unnoticed suddenly hitched and I could hear the faint mumbles under his breath.
  "hey kid.. what is this." he prodded. I tried to shut my eyes more but he just repeated the question and more firmly this time.
I opened my eyes to a face full of concern.
so much for the easy way out huh?
I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out, what could I say? he clearly knew what I was trying to do with the expression he held.
I could feel myself fading a little, and he rephrased in his booming voice again, "what did you do!" .
I tried to sit up but was hit with a wave of dizziness that sent me falling into my nightstand.
I could hear faint ringing in my ears as I leaned my back against my bed frame. he asked one last time and I managed to get the words out.
"I took a shitload of pills."
"pills.. what kind of pills michael"
"oh you know, pills."
with that I could faintly hear him shuffle around and find the empty bottle in my drawer and then came the running, and stomping, and yelling that would soon erupt my parents into a state of panic.
I couldn't feel my hands anymore.
I weakly lifted them up and looked at them.
I didn't feel real anymore.

tubs ran up the stairs faster than was thought possible really, right behind him ranboo was.
"what the fuck happened!" tubbo screamed.
and the ringing in my ears just got worse.
I couldn't see straight and all of my surroundings were beginning to blur into fuzziness.
my hands were still up and I could feel the vibrations of the floor as my dad sprinted towards me.
"someone call 911 please!"
no.
I don't want to be saved.
let me be please.
and to no avail still.
he grabbed my hands and tried to look me in the eyes, and I couldn't make out if it was a look of pity or concern.
that was all I saw before everything finally turned black. and I was alone.

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I will make a pt 2 if anyone wishes for that