Un- Sober

Fucked Off

Continued...Xander POV

Two hours and three nurses later and my constant questioning on when she would wake up exhausted all of the nurses to the point that I could tell by the looks on their faces that they were sick of me. "Patience; Xander, it took you much longer to wake up." Guilt pains me with Bradley's words because I put Mel through hell when I tried to kill myself, I really had no intentions on surviving my overdose but I'm forever grateful that she saved me.

I look to Bradley and then to the TV he's watching which is mounted on the wall, news, weather and talk shows. "I'm trying..." I'm just fuckin' scared. It's been less then a year since I held Jess as she died on the sidewalk, her eyes had glassed over and become lifeless before the paramedics had even arrived, they tried to resuscitate her but she was long gone.

I cannot go through anything remotely close to that again, last night was far too close, a minute longer and I would have held her as dead as my Jess.

This is what she wanted, she wanted me to find somebody to love. This is not how she wanted me to find it though, I should have listened to my heart and told Mel that I loved her before something tragic happened, she could have died believing I didn't love her when the fact is that I've loved her since she bailed my sorry ass out of jail...

Mel POV

"What are you thinking about, ya graffitied giant?" Holy shit, I can't believe I'm not dead. Damn though my throat and mouth are so dry, I didn't even recognize the words that came out of my mouth but I can see Xander sitting right next to me looking all sad and deep in thought, I really wish he'd speak to me.

Fuck my head and whole face hurt, they feel so swo-Oh my fucking god, I'm missing teeth!! My tongue explores the nasty gooey gums on the left side of my jaw.

I know I'm in the hospital. Oh, there are those stormy eyes, hey sexy!

"Mel!!" He gets closer to my bedside and scoops up my hand, I squeeze it, fuck his hand feels so good in mine. "Hey, my little shrimpy!" He coos and seems really happy to see me, wow; he's not mad at me?

My eyes sluggishly lock onto the figure on the other side of me and focus. Oh, it's my daddy, of course he would be here, tears instantly boil hotly down my cheeks in a seemingly endless flow and I sob sadly...I got drunk, was slipped a drug, beaten and...raped...

Xander instantly sits beside me as if I'm going to break and carefully wraps an arm around me, avoiding all of this stupid shit attached to me and acting like I'm a glass doll. "Shh, it's alright now!" Alright? Nothing is alright, I'm such an idiot!

More sobs escape me but I'm able to coordinate one arm to wrap around him and hide my face in his chest.

I feel dads hand gently on my shoulder and turn slightly towards him, pulling my head from Xander's chest to look up at him, he smiles despite the distinct look of relief and fear in his eyes.

"Hey, sweetheart. Everything is going to be okay, just rest!" Is it though? The feeling of guilt, embarrassment and shame start to wash over me like tidal waves, I feel so unclean. I can't believe Xander is seeing me like this.

"Something bad happened!" I cry, do they know? Who found me? I can't believe I'm not dead.

Fucking hell, why does everything hurt?