tw: suicide attempt and anxiety
Y/N's POV
"Y/N, you need to eat something." I looked up to see my worried sister and I immediately ignored her.
I'm currently staying at my sister's place because I have nowhere to go. Our parent's home is not an ideal place if you're seeking for comfort.
"I don't even understand why people are so interested in your private life." My sister sighed as she scrolled to the phone.
Our family is one of the most influential families in South Korea. We're the elite of Seoul. The perfect family that have three lonely and attention-seeking children.
"I swear, I will kill these people who are mocking you!" Byul, my sister, threw her phone beside me. I've been laying down her bed and trying to get some sleep, but I just couldn't.
I miss him so bad.
Ding dong!
"That's probably Yoongi, I'll go get it." Byul hurriedly walked out of the room to open the door.
"Is Y/N in here?!" Her voice was loud and I couldn't help but sigh.
"Mom! What are you doing in here?!"
"Let me ask you again, lady. Is Y/N in here?!" Her voice was full of anger and I don't want my sister to be dragged by her. I stood up from the bed and I walked out of the room.
"She's not in—"
"I'm here." I answered my mom's question and she looked at me in bewilderment.
She approached me slowly and I looked at her with my numb eyes. Her hand extended and I anticipated what was going to come.
Slap!
"Mom! What are you doing?! Y/N, are you okay?" My sister approached me and she looked angrily at my mother.
"You're a disgrace! I've teached you to be a wise woman but you didn't listen to me! Look what you did to our family name, you tarnished it!" She yelled at me and I just stood there. All I could do is be quiet, I just feel so tired.
No one understands what I'm feeling right now. I feel like I'm going to die.
"Could you please stop being so harsh to Y/N?! She doesn't need this type of treatment from you!" Byul, my older sister, defended me from her.
"We knew from the moment that we laid eyes on that man, that he was trouble! She should've listen to me!" My mother shouted at my sister and I looked away from the both of them.
"You already said that, you don't need to say it again. Believe it or not, Y/N is an adult and she has the right to make her own decisions. It's just divorce, mom!" Byul defended me and my mother chuckled loudly.
"She's divorced, Byul. Do you think someone will still love her? Y/N had a failed marriage, do you think someone will take a risk and marry her again?" Her words stung my heart and I held my chest tightly.
Is it really over for me? Will no one ever love me?
"Mom, stop saying that." Byul's voice softened when she saw me holding onto my chest.
"You're hurting Y/N's feelings." She added and I looked up to meet eyes with my mom.
"I'm sorry, but that's the sad reality that your sister is going to face." My mom gave me a sad look and I shook my head violently.
"That's not true, I'm going to find love again." I answered my mom for the first time.
"Do you even know why Jungkook left you?" My mom asked me as if she knew the reason why.
"He left you because you were never his type. You're conservative, you like books and wear baggy clothes. Jungkook doesn't like you, he only liked what you have."
"What are you even talking about? Jungkook loves me—"
"Then why did he leave you with her." My mom gave me a brown envelop and I looked at it suspiciously. Byul took it and she opened the package for me.
She gasped when she saw what was on that piece of paper. I took it from her and I felt my heart breaking.
It was a picture of Jungkook, he was cradling a beautiful girl in his arms.
"I've been stalking him with my private investigator—" Before she could finish her sentence, I ran towards my sister's room and I locked the door shut. My eyes started spilling out tears and I started crying my heart out.
"Y/N, open the door! Y/N, please open the door!" I could hear my sister panicking as she started banging onto the door.
I started looking for my bag and my hands were shaking violently. Opening the zipper, I poured out my bag and look for an orange container.
Maybe I should end it all.
I opened the bottle of pills and I looked at it with hesitation. If I swallowed it now, then all this suffering will end.
"Y/N! I'm going to open the door!" I could hear my sister's keys jumble and I started breathing faster.
I need to make a decision now.
Without looking back, I poured all the pills into my throat. The door opened and my sister run towards me while I tried my best to swallow the pills.
"Spit it out! Y/N!" She grabbed my neck and she pushed the back of my head. I gagged when I felt all the pills going out of my throat.
I coughed loudly and my sister hugged me tightly.
"What are you even doing?!" Byul cried as she looked at my face. I cried more as I fell into her embrace.
"I-I'm sorry, it's b-been awhile since I've h-had my panic attacks. I d-dont know what to do." I stuttered and she hugged me tighter.
"Y-you know, J-Jungkook eased my a-anxiety and panic attacks. I just don't k-know what to do without h-him." I honestly admitted to my sister and she wiped my tears away.
"W-where's mom?" I asked and Byul kissed my forehead.
"I kicked her out, but she was worried. She thought you didn't have your episodes anymore. Mom never thought she will trigger you like that." Byul explained and I nodded my head.
It's been awhile since I've had an episode of panic and anxiety attacks. I forgot that it feels like hell.
"Don't do that anymore, okay? You scared me so much." She said while wiping her own tears with her hands.
"Do y-you think J-Jungkook married me f-for money?" I asked her and she shook her head immediately.
"No-no! Never have I thought of that. You are amazing, loveable and special. So don't ever think that way, okay?" My sister comforted me and I nodded my head at her.
"He will regret leaving you, Y/N. And I'm making sure of that."
Author's Note:
I really want to write a book about divorce. I think that there's this prejudice against women who are divorced, which I don't tolerate. Divorced women always have it tough compared to divorced men. I just want them to be treated equally and to be able to love again. Please don't judge divorced women, they are only humans who failed at a relationship that isn't meant to be.
—Shanie 💟🥰
YOU ARE READING
Tacenda || A Jeon Jungkook FF
Fanfiction"You don't need to know my name and see my face. All that matters is we're going to have a fun night, baby." *** Jeon Y/N just recently got divorced. With no reasons, whatsoever, her husband just left her alone and hopeless. Trying to move on, she...
