I rush into the bathroom and sit on the vanity. Mia and Cassie stand across from me, a worried look on their faces. Swallowing all the anxiety that has built up inside me for the past 18 years of my life, I start to speak my very own naked truth.
"You're probably thinking I overreacted there, huh?" I try to produce a smile to lighten the mood, which seems impossible when I know what I'm about to say is going to consume us in darkness.
Cassie is the first to speak, her beautiful black hair shaping her angel-like face.
"I'd never accuse you of overreacting but my guess is there's something more to it April. Am I right in saying that? You can trust us, you know that right?" Mia comes over to me and places her hand on my shoulder, providing me with all the comfort I need.
I take a deep breath, the air filling my lungs and all the empty spaces that had developed over the years and began talking.
"Okay. So one night when I was thirteen it got really bad. As in it was the worst night of my entire life." They both look at me confused at my vagueness but I need them to understand I'm going to tell it in the way I remember it.
"My dad's drinking habit was primal and his tendency to take out his anger on my mom and... me became apparent during this age." The worrisome look on their face began to extend to their body language, they tensed up.
"This particular night, he came home from the bar with a friend who was also mindlessly drunk like him. My mom was asleep upstairs because she had to go to work early in the morning so I was just in the living room watching a movie, alone. They stumbled through the front door, mumbling and laughing which was cut short when they saw me. His friend approached me and kept asking who I was and why my dad had never introduced me to him before. He started touching me, there , and my dad just stood there, he didn't do anything. I began to scream and I-" I felt a single tear fall from my face, staining my cheeks with the misery of that night.
"Hey, hey, hey. Don't cry. I hope you don't mind me saying but your father is a bastard" I cut Mia off by placing my hands over hers.
"Oh trust me, I know. This night is just one that really sticks but my memories of his abuse cloud my every thought." I tentatively rub my hands over Mia's as I didn't want this to become their burden. I only told them so they could understand why I might respond to certain situations and if we have sleepovers I don't want them to question why I wake with no air in my lungs and covered in sweat in the middle of the night.
"That's why I reacted the way I did when Chad was touching me and saying those awful things. I was transported back to that night where he touched me in places a thirteen year old girl should never be touched, I screamed so loud my mom came down stairs and started hitting them both. It made them leave but she came out worse off, her injuries were so bad I almost didn't recognise her." I tilt my head to break eye contact.
"Oh April, I'm so sorry this happened to you, we had no idea. You're so brave. " As I lifted my head back up to look at my two best friends, I saw that they were both crying. It was this moment where I knew I had found the two most important people in my life and that they sure as hell were going to stay in it.
We left the bathroom after making ourselves look more presentable to a scowling Ruby. I'm convinced this is the only expression she has.
"So much for mingling, initiate. You've made a bad impression on the squad and it will be duly noted." Mia steps forward and much to my surprise responds;
"Take a night off, Ruby. Sometimes not everything is as it seems." She takes my hand, causing Ruby's mouth to drop open. I've never had anyone stand up for me like that before. Little moments like that mean so much to me. Especially when my own voice was stripped from me when I was 13, begging my fathers friend to get off and him refusing to do so.
I spot Jackson across the room and he gave me a concerned look. I respond with a small smile, tonight isn't about him anymore but I want him to know that I'm okay.
"Lets get going, even being here under the same roof as Chad is giving me a rash." Cassie explains.
"Before we go, I need to find Finley, I need to say thank you to him." I look around the room and spot him sitting on the couch. I walk over and he stands immediately. Instead of saying anything, he pulls me into a hug, his hand pressed against my back as he caresses it.
"Are you okay, April?" He asks as he rests his chin on the top of my head.
His affection took me by surprise as I pulled back from the hug and looked at him.
"I'm fine Finley, thank you so much, if you weren't there I don't know what would've happened."
"Anytime April." I place a kiss on his cheek and he puts his fingers over the stop where I kissed and smiled. I made my way over to my best friends who looked after me all the way until we got to Mia's.
Once we had all got into our pyjamas and Cassie insisted we inhale every sugary thing Mia had in her cupboard. They would be there for me always, just as I would for them.
Always.
Such a broad, yet beautiful term that can mean so much. I feel asleep that night feeling like I'd made a deeper connection with Finley and my two best friends. Ruby may say I failed socialising at the party but to me I won even if it meant confronting the demons of my past. I know I can trust Mia and Cassie and the mere sense of relief I felt knowing I had told someone was another battle I had won.
YOU ARE READING
Passion is a Game
Romance" Stage 1 is working on you. That's what he wants, just for you to think about him maybe once maybe even twice. Just whatever you do, don't let him know that he's been on your mind. He thinks these little stages work, if you show him they don't work...
