Fate

ch 4; awkwardness

Makoto starts hesitating when he stands outside Haru's house with his hand about to open the door.
He had walked home to Haru by habit this morning.
But when he was about to open the door, memories of Haru kissing Rin came back.
Which make him to hesitate if he really should walk into Haru's place as he used to. What if Rin stayed over? Just the thought of seeing them together and knowing they spent the night together, is too much. It would feel as getting salt on the wound.
Which is really painful and nothing he would do of own will.
Makoto gulps and starts walking backward.
No, perhaps he shouldn't enter Haru's house. It's not like he is his boyfriend or something.
Makoto turns around and starts heading directly to school even though that will mean he will get a slightly too early.

Meanwhile is Haru taking a bath as he always does in the mornings. And as always, he is bathing in his swimming trunks.
At first did he started bathing with swimming trunks since Makoto always rushed into the bathroom while Haru took a bath. Since he didn't wanted to let Makoto see his secret there he doesn't has same genital as other boys, he started bathing with trunks. And by the time, it became a habit.

After what felt as an eternity, Haru finally gets up from the tub.
He starts brooding why Makoto hasn't showed up yet. Or it's just him who has bathing in shorter time or earlier than he usually does?
It has never happened before that, Makoto hasn't rushed into the bathroom in the morning to greet him. And probably trying to get a sneak peek.
Haru walks out to the kitchen there he curiously looks up at the watch.
The black haired boy inhales surprised of seeing he is very late to school.
"MAKOTO?!" He shouts while he spins around. Wondering if his beloved friend is playing a prank on him.
His heart starts racing when he isn't getting any answer.
He moves quickly to his bedroom there he starts taking on his school uniform.
Then with the bag over his shoulder, he rushes out from the house and dashes against Makoto's house.
Is he sick?
But when he arrives at his friend's house, his mother tells him that; Makoto had left in the morning to head home to him as usual.
Haru starts sweating nervously, has something happened with Makoto?
The boy starts jogging from Makoto's house back to his own, trying to spot Makoto if he has fainted on the road.
But he isn't seeing any clue of where his friend could be.

When Haru finally arrives at school, he has already missed two classes.
He is feeling very under the weather when he enters the classroom.
His eyes move over to Makoto's seat there he gasps surprised of seeing his friend and wides his eyes.
Haru sits down on his own seat and stares asking at Makoto.
His heart starts pounding painfully and he starts feeling betrayed.
Why didn't Makoto came over to his place as usual? Is he tired of him? Or mad since he has rejected Makoto's requests of sleepovers and hanging out after the swim training yesterday?
Haru starts tearing up.
He wouldn't stand if Makoto starts avoiding him.
Haru starts trembling as he was about to break into a sobbing any time soon.
He swallows hardly and inhales sniffing.
Before any tear gets a chance to fall, he leans over the desk with crossed arms and burying his head between them.
Drops of salty tears hits the wooden desk.
He would rather giving up on swimming than losing Makoto.
Makoto and he have always been friends as long he can remember.
And Makoto is the first person he has loved.
Yeah, he really loves Makoto. So much that, his heart pounds happily when Makoto is fooling around and tries get a peek of his naked body or tries touching him.
The only reason he hasn't told his feelings for him is; he is transgender and doesn't dare to tell Makoto the truth. What if he gets rejected both as boyfriend and friend, the moment he tells the truth about him to Makoto?!
"HARUKA NANASE-..." The school teacher shouts from the whiteboard and startled Haru.
The boy inhales sharply and looks a slightly asking up.
The teacher snorts.
"Not only did you arrived late today and didn't apologized... But you're sleeping in class too?! " He says upset.
"I'm sorry..." Haru mumbles while he is sitting upright. He hates getting everyone's attention.
He notices in the corners of his eyes how Makoto is looking ashamed at him. As he is blaming himself for something.
"Alright-..." the teacher says while he adjusted his round eyeglasses.
"Let's continue..."
Haru exhales relieved when everyone's eyes pull away from him and start staring at the teacher instead.
His stomach starts suddenly rumbling.
He sighs.
Because of Makoto didn't showed up as usual, he ended up with not eating Mackerel this morning. How will he survive the rest of the school day?