Part III - Thought

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As I lay in my bed I thought about the confession. I replayed the it over and over again and again. I could still remember it clearly as looking in a mirror, every detail true and same. I sighed and hit my pillow with all my might, trying to make myself comfortable. " Yamaguchi, you idiot!" I shouted squeezing my blanket around me, trying to block out the memory of his sudden confession. "Shizuku, are you okay? Who's this Yamaguchi, is he bullying you?" A voice from below yelled. The clanking of dishes being washed stopped. "No Mama, don't worry." I yelled back downstairs. "I'll somehow sort things out..." I nodded at myself, trying to block out these thoughts, these things that weren't like me...

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As I walked to school I suddenly thought of Haru. The time I first meet him, the time I spent with him, the times, the memories, his smile. But, we... he had to leave, and he... I was such an ungrateful brat. The moment I fell for Yamaguchi. I don't know when or how. I felt this throbbing, sick pain in my chest. How do I get rid of this? Is this the pain of guilt? I-I don't even know myself anymore. My eyes stung. Why couldn't I keep loving Haru? I always secretly imagined that we would have a future together... Stupid, baka! Why did you leave me? I choked back my tears. I tried to hold it in. Stomp out the emotions, these useless emotions. But they came. Tears are very sneaky little things.You really can't stop them. They just fall. Drip, drop.

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