Ashley's Story

Meet Ashley

Dedicated to: hemmofanatic
Because she's perfect and I love her stories. Hope you enjoy this even if you don't pick me.xx

Ashley

My name is Ashley Irwin, I'm not like most children I wasn't the product of love, or even a relationship, I wasn't wanted. I am the product of a one night stand, that my dad Ashton Irwin had and I have to pay the price by been alive on this crappy, ugly place called earth. They say hell is below heaven and if heaven is above us then earth must be hell or have concepts of hell on it at least. 'Are you listening Ashley?' My 'mum' Destiny speaks to me. I look up from the floor at my headteacher Mr.Tate who had split coffee down his light pink shirt. I nod and begin to pick at my nails which are covered with chipped Aquarium nail varnish. 'You step out of line again Miss.Irwin and you're expelled. I mean it!' Mr.Tate warns. This is the hundredth time he's made that threat so I just roll my eyes. As long as dad keeps donating money to the school I'm not going anywhere. You may wonder why I'm sat in the headmasters offices, I will tell you I've been expelled from three schools before this for average stuff like un expectable behaviour or just not bothering showing up at school. I'm sat in my headteachers stuffy office which smells of Pot Noodle because I came to five lessons last week and was caught smoking, big deal! 'Right I think we're done here' he places my file which if practically the same size as Jupiter in his draw and shakes Destiny's hand, I leave the room quickly turning and walking off to my Tutor 'where do you think you're going young lady?! I want to talk to you'Destiny calls after 'can't sorry I have this thing called class apparently it's important ' I respond swinging my rucksack over my shoulder.

After the hell people like to call school

Slamming the front door shut I climb up the stairs 'Ashley' my dad calls me groaning I turn and face him 'how was the meeting?' He asks
'I'm sure 'mum' will tell you all about it?' Knowing it pisses Ashton off when I used quotation marks round the word mum when discussing Destiny.

I wish I knew why I didn't like Destiny I just don't. Ever since her and Minnie were in a car accident that Minnie didn't survive I've never liked her. I blame her like it's her fault that Minnie isn't here. When it is that stupid twat of a drunken driver who got let free. What about Destiny's unborn child?! gone! Torn form life! And no one cares! I go over to my music playing Issues they're considered a old band now but Minnie and I used to jam to them together they were our band, they were our first concert ever well about from bands band we went together, Issues saved us but lost us at the same time if that makes sense. I filled with a sudden sense of loneliness and sorrow. Jus fluke always I can no longer do this. I feel like I'm constantly drowning no one can see me no one can hear me. I am invisible. I go over to my draw pulling out a notebook I scribble down a note

Dear Mum and Dad
I'm so sorry, that it has to end like this but I want you to know you were the best parents I could ever ask for.
Maybe you won't miss me, maybe it won't hurt as much as you've already lost a child but I want you both to know it's not your fault, it's no one but mine.
I was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't want to live my life with my photo on the front of magazines, I don't want to get death threats. I want to be able to be me and be judge free but I can't achieve that in this life. I may not achieve it in my next life (if there even is one) but maybe I'll be born as someone who doesn't care what others think, I always wanted to be one of those people who didn't care but I'm not, I guess that's a trait I got from you dad. I'm sorry but I have to do this.

Don't worry about me though I'll be with Minnie so everything will be okay again. I've learnt a lot in my 16 years alive form both of you like 1) you can't please everyone so there's no point in trying 2) no one's perfect 3) love is love no matter what 4) never leave play dough in the sun it will melt and many more I'll carry these with me wherever I go next. Before I go I want to give you a bit of advice: know that everything will kill you eventually whether it be cigarettes or the blue eyed blue with a smile as addicting as Heroin so enjoy the moment whilst it lasts take lots of photos too. I love you both dearly. Thank you for giving me the best life possible.
Love Ashley xx
I place my pen down, folding the letter in to an envelope along with some Polaroids I'd take over the years most of me and friends but a few of us as a family. I have one more letter to write then I can leave this hell behind.

To James

I don't know where to begin but I want to you too know I'm am so in love with you it's unreal, I imagined us growing old together, me writing Hemmings instead of Irwin on everything. Stupid? I know! Right? I've always been misunderstood but you understood me you took your time to know me and I'm truly grateful for that, you stole the hearts of millions of people around the world just like your dad yet you chose me and for that am thankful. I know that I would have done what I'm about to do a lot sooner if it wasn't for you.
I want you to say hello to Hollywood for me when you're directing Dylan O'Brien in some huge film. I want you to see the world for me and you. I want you to be happy. I love you, I see so much of Luke in you from the way you laugh to the way when your hair is wet it goes curly but then when you talk you have the depth and understanding of Charlie you're the perfect combination of them both.
You may think I still love life but I don't. I can't lie around in pieces though as self pity will get me nowhere. No one knows I'm in pieces.
I don't want you to cry for me save your tears for when you really need them like when your bride walks down the aisle. When you fall in love don't be scared just make sure she loves you at least half as much as I love you and make sure you see a future like we wanted with her. I will never forget you. I love you, forever and always. Mine.

Love Ashley.xx
I place my necklace with St.Christopher on to keep him safe a long with a mix tape I made him for when he misses me.
I tie the rope round my lamp and then round my small neck, I feel everything bad disappear and I'm greeted by blackness.

A/N: Sorry it's so crappy, sorry if it's too long. It's very late so sorry for any mistakes. Hope you liked it though. Thank you for taking the time to read it.xx -Christina.