The Closet Box

Into the Deep

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I closed my eyes and opened them once more to the blank space in front of me. The wind whipped around me, pushing me forward as if it was trying to encouraging me. I scoffed under my breath. I didn't need encouragement. This was my decision, my choice.

I took this time to let it all out. All the pain, all the depression, whatever I had left. I could still hear their words beating me down, their faces, their eyes. "Just die!" "Nobody wants you here." And the last one that did it. That broke me. "You killed them."

Maybe I did kill them.

I don't even know anymore. I'm so sick and tired of trying to convince myself otherwise. When you hear it so many times, it starts to become the truth.

I'm done with this. I'm going to end it all, even if there wasn't a beginning to start with.

I gritted my teeth in anger. They could say all they want and I'll show them! I'll show them the consequences. They want to see me dead? Fine, so be it. I'm better off dead than alive anyway. Who knows maybe I'll see them in hell.

I sucked in a breath. My last taste of oxygen. I savored it, relishing in the moment. But that ended the second I stepped forward. I dropped into nothingness faster than a raindrop. Maybe it was just me but I thought I heard a voice cry "No!". A thought I didn't dare dwell on. I didn't want to care. I just hoped that maybe-maybe it'll all be over.

The icy bite of the water pierced my skin. Filling me, drowning me as it pulled me deeper. I opened my eyes to view around me. When I had closed them, I didn't know.

Beautiful, just so beautiful was death. The death they so desperately sought for me.

I sunk deeper into the water, my chest burned from the lack of oxygen, but I ignored it. I wanted one last look. One last picture before everything ended. I smiled. Despite the icy waters pricking into my skin. I couldn't help it. The city lights reflected upon the water, muddled and bright. The sound less music of nothingness invaded my mind.

I heard a splash or maybe it was just my imagination, but I didn't stop to think. My body froze and became numb. I'm pretty sure my lips were blue. But I didn't care, at least not now. At least I'd die with a smile.

Goodbye life. Hello death.