The outsiders (I do not own the outsiders book this is just a fan fiction )

Chapter 3

Pony POV: I sat on the tree Clawing my arms until scars formed. I felt satisfied and watched the blood drop from my arms. I sighed.
"Pony boy what in the hell are you doing!?"I looked down and saw two-bit.

I froze,and stiffened. So I made up a lie. "I-I got chased by Soc's girls,they clawed my arms so I hid here." Luckily It looked like he bought it. "I thought you were.."

I stared at the ground and hopped off the tree. I fixed my jacket so it would cover my scars. I walked back home with Two. It was silent. Dead silent.
Once we arrived to the steps of the house I walked in.
(Dark)
I went to the table and shoved the note in my pocket. Two-bit lounged himself on the couch. So I walked to my room and shut the door behind me.

As soon as I closed the door I flopped on my bed and silently cried.
He can't know. He would tell everybody then that Mental place is my next home. I cringed. I love my brothers and the gang with my life but It's hard living.

The temptation to hug Johnny and laugh with dally again is high. I heard the front door open and footsteps enter the home. Breaking the silence.
I heard chatting so I dried up my tears and rubbed my face. I can't look like a cry baby. I walked out my room and greeted Soda and Darry. It was awkward. They stared at me like I'm a new creature. "Hey Pony,what did you and Two-bit do today?" Soda asked.

What if Two-bit told them? What if I have to lie about it? No tell half the truth. "I went for a walk today." I simply replied.
It was awkwardly silent after that so Darry went to the kitchen to make Dinner.

I sat down at the couch with soda and Two-bit. Two-bit was watching tv but Soda looked me concerned. "Hey Pone are you ok? You look like you were crying." I shrugged.

I don't want him to worry about me. I'm just a extra mouthful of a brother. I'm just nothing.

He stared at me concerned with the, what's wrong face. I shook my head.
He sighed and wrapped his strong safe arms around me. He smelled like fuel. But who cares I feel loved.
I layed my head on his lap. Once dinner was ready we all set the table and Two-bit started making corny jokes.

It brought smirks to our faces. The food we had infront of us were Ham and eggs with Slices of  toasted bread. I really didn't have a appetite so I picked at my food instead of eating. I listened to their conversation about work then it died down. "Pone we heard you got Clawed today." I froze. I was so confused until I remember my fib.

"Y-yeah.. what about it?" I was nervous.
"We just are worried bud,you haven't been eating,your hurt,Emotionally and physically." Of course Darry had to act like our dad.
"Pone if you need to talk to us we are open man we miss them just as much as you do but you need to let it go.." Two-bit piped in stuffing the bread in his mouth. That ticked me off.
I set my fork down and stared dead into Two-bits eyes. "HOW CAN I MOVE ON FROM IT!?" "OUR PARENTS DIED THEN OUR FRIENDS!?"
"AND YOU CALL IT SO DAMN EASY TO MOVE ON!?" "IM NOT GOING TO MOVE ON FROM WHAT HAPPENED YOUR ACTING LIKE YOU DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT THEM!!!"
I looked at everybody's expression,it was so priceless. "Im sorry-" Two bit choked.

I got up from my seat and walked out the house just like that.
I heard them screaming my name so I walked faster. I ran back to the lot. I climb onto the tree and sat at the highest branch. I probably stressed Darry even more with me running out. Soda is probably balling his eyes out,and Two-bit just staring in silence. It's all my fault. I failed to be a easy considerate brother.

I added more stress to their plate by all the deeds and trouble I'm causing. I'm just a mess,just a total wreck. Johnny can't be dead. His body may be in the Grave but his soul or spirit has to be watching the country sunsets. I started laughing and pulled out my switchblade.
Even if I die they would never be happy,even if I'm still alive they won't ever be happy. Johnny was what left me alive. I stared at the blade. I pulled up my sleeve then I started digging it into my skin. The satisfying feeling of it slices my skin open to the cooling air burned but it was worth it. It cooled me down.

I grabbed a cigarette from my pack and lit it. I started smoking it,then blowing smoke circles. When it was a stub I rubbed it on my open wounds.

I felt the burn,but I didn't care. I wanted to end it all. I finished with the cigarette and threw it to the ground. I closed the blade and stuffed it in my pocket. I pulled down my sleeve and sat there staring at the moon.