dropped your hand while dancing

-i-

"Betty," James' said hoarsely, his hand slipping through hers, she could feel the glittery paint on his nails. She didn't say anything, just flushed faintly, and leaned her head on his shoulder as they wandered slowly through the woods, looking up at the almost purple sky.

This had been going on for almost a year now, this gentle relationship- the walks after school, braiding small braids into James' unruly dark hair during math class, study sessions which ended up in pillow fights and movie nights, the small kisses he'd plant on her cheek just before he'd turn the other way to walk home, and she felt the same she did every time, every time that faint blush and affection. And memories. Memories of James, every time. James picking wisteria from the fields across town for her, James hugging her after every basketball match, all sweaty and either visibly upset or completely in bliss. James being there for her, every time, every day, even the hard ones.

That night was different though. Because she wouldn't be seeing James the next day. Or the day after that. Or the week after that. Or for the next three months. She knew he wasn't looking forward to it, he didn't say much about it, but it was a known truth that he and his father barely spoke. He'd broken James when he left, who looked up to him, who thought he was the world. He'd been twelve then, five years ago.

She remembered that day. She'd seen the car whiz past her house and James in his pyjamas running after it. She'd watched him stop after a while, panting, his eyes red at the edges. He'd barely seen her as he ran to the woods. Maybe it was small towns, but she knew exactly where he was headed.

The old willow by the creek. It was a pretty desolate spot, Betty never understood why. She and James used to play on that tree when they were younger. She'd walked up to him, seeing his dangling feet with spiderman socks on. She had barely gotten there when he'd asked- without even glancing back- "Betty?" softly, but there was a pained edge to his voice; "Betty is that you?"

She'd hugged him then as she hugged him now, only this time she leaned on the willow instead of climbing it, this time they weren't just holding hands in silence, her hand was under his sweatshirt, and she lifted her head up just a little bit as they kissed, and he put his hand through her curly chestnut hair as he pulled away, a small playful smile on his mouth.

"I'll be right where you left me," she said, tugging at her cardigan. He smirked, pressed his lips to her forehead and sprinted the other way.

Betty didn't know what would come next, she didn't know how things would be later, but she smiled that evening, gentle sun turning her strawberry blonde curls to fire, she smiled for James, she smiled for them, she smiled for the forever she dreamed of.

She sighed, and walked around. Cornelia Street was a quiet street, with just thirteen houses, twelve all colour coded and pristine, and the thirteenth, the one right next to her house, broken down and in ruins. Some say it was a murder. Some say it was burnt down. Betty wasn't too sure about that. She remembered, however vaguely, five year old her playing with an older girl on the swings in that house. And then one night, she vanished. Just like those memories of her did, and she forgot about braiding those wildflowers into her deep brown hair, or how she'd cry quietly.

Suddenly impulsive, she headed towards the house. For once, she thanked her extremely long lanky basketball legs as she jumped over the fence.

She landed, in the least graceful way humanly possible, on a bed of pointy pebbles. She cursed as they sunk into her legs. And then she stared. The place truly did look like a set in a horror movie. The words 'Justice for Este' had been painted on the wall. Betty didn't remember an Este, but she glared at the swing set, vague, faint memories surfacing. She still couldn't recall the face, the face of that girl, no matter how hard she tried.

Her phone buzzed in her hand. Secretly hoping it was James, she slid it open.

kate: mom's made pizza, you might want to stop making out w james and get home

She rolled her eyes, and headed back to the fence. She glanced back, only to see the swing move ever so slightly. The air was still, so still that the swing moving made her hastily climb up the fence and fall into her backyard.

"Rebecca, you're late," her mother's sharp voice echoed from the living room, she had a smile on.

"I-," "- was with my boyfriend." her mother finished. "Yes, I know he's leaving, it's a small town, Betty." Betty sighed. She didn't exactly know what her mother's feelings toward James were anymore, but she knew when they were younger he'd often stay over for dinner, and she'd make him red velvet cookies.

"Personally I feel bad for that kid," Kate piped up, through bites of her pizza. Betty stared. Kate had always been the overprotective big sister, and when she heard about James, there had been radio silence and a few glares her way.

"Bad for him?" Betty asked, surprised.

"Yeah," she said, taking another large bite from her pizza. "Like, he basically had to grow up young. It's not like his mother helped him get through anything," she spoke pointedly.

Betty knew it was true, everyone knew it was true, that Karli Wood had given up- on everything, including James. She never came out, the few days that she did she looked like a walking corpse. James barely looked like his mother. The only thing he'd inherited were her eyes- a blue Betty couldn't describe. In all other ways, he was a spitting image of his father- a younger version- tall, lean and rather delicate looking, though that was a facade. She was quiet the rest of the night, slowly chewing on her pizza, staring at her calloused brown hands, with that small paper cut on them.

It stung, the way her heart stung when she saw their old blue Prius creak past Cornelia Street in the middle of the night. 

◞┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈◟

well hello again, ya'll; how've you been? i've forgotten how to write a/ns but like, how'd you like that? tysm for checking this out ily

x, rajita

◝┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈◜