Escape Your Deduction - Johnlock [English Version]

Chapter 1 - Wink

"The name is Sherlock Holmes and the adress is 221B Baker Street"

John woke up with a start. Approximately once a week since the death of Mary Morstan, he made this dream ; the one in which he relived his encounter with Sherlock Holmes, years ago. And every time, at the end of this exact sentence just after Sherlock's wink, he woke up abruptly. Everytime, he feels in him a kind of embarrassment, almost like a dread; his forehead is often wet and his breathing is irregular.  It was as if this day, Sherlock's first deduction in front of him and this wink, pushed John to accept, to accept everything ; from living with him as flatmates to solve crimes by his side, and even to ask him to be his bestman. It was as if this wink foretold everything that happened next ; the good moments spent together but also the worst challenges like Mary's death or Sherlock's broken promise to protect them both. Because, yes, he failed. Sherlock Holmes had failed. The greatest detective of all times, the genius of deduction had not succeed in forseeing the heroic act of the most courageous woman John had ever known.

The clock displayed 4:00 a.m., which did not surprise John ; this dream had the habit of waking him up in the middle of the night. It was Thursday or Friday. John couldn't remember well, but it was not really important anyway. Nothing had any kind of importance since the disappearance of Mary, of the only woman he ever trully loved.

The ex military man stood up. He took a few steps across his room, around his bed, with just enough discretion not to wake neither his little girl asleep next to him nor his best friend sleeping in the bedroom downstairs.

Best friend....

Walking helped him to calm the flow of his thoughts, but still, his mind couldn't help but fixate on Sherlock. "Of course you're my best friend", he told him when he chose him as his best man. He meant it of course, and yet these last days he began to doubt it. Was Sherlock really his best friend ? Could he be even if John had blamed him numerous times for killing his wife ? Even if he violently hurt him until he hurt himself too for the same reason ? What kind of best friend was John to reproach Sherlock something he wasn't to blame for ? To add another layer on the pain Sherlock felt by feeling guilty ?

Because yes, he felt pain, and John had seen it. He never had thought the high functionning sociopath -as he liked to describe himself- capable of experiencing such strong feelings. And yet, he saw all of it. He wasn't holding Sherlock accountable, not anymore. Nevertheless, he himself was feeling guilty for having blamed Sherlock. The man always there for him, always ready to save his life, who didn't think twice before walking into a fire to pull him out of it, this man could not have killed his wife, he would have never done it.

John sat on the edge of the bed. How could he have done that ? How could he have accused his best friend of such an awful thing ? Sherlock wasn't easy to live with, he was unpleasant, arrogant, and narcissist ; but he liked John, he felt for him friendly feelings that he never felt for anybody else. And at the slightest difficulty that was out of the ordinary, John lashed out at him.

Due to the much too early hour and the mixed emotions, John felt tears welt up in his eyes. So he thought about Sherlock's. And consequently, about this wink.

Finally, it was not intended as a harbinger of something bad, but rather something reassuring ; a life together, rythmic and hectic, a life with someone by his side, he would never be alone anymore. Sherlock had let John blame Mary's death on him. He could have had repelled him, told him that it was not his fault, that Mary had saved him and he couldn't have prevented being saved ; but he didn't, he let John accuse him, beat him, hate him, screaming at him.

Ultimately, Sherlock has always been here for him. Regardless of the situation, of the pain experienced ; physical or psychological. Sherlock had always felt a deep friendship towards John, without ever telling him so, yes, but he felt it. He had made it clear throughout their adventures that John was all that has ever mattered, that he was like a pillar for him, like a compass, and that he will never ever want to be separated from him unless if it was to keep him safe like when he faked his death.

When the East wind had risen, when Eurus had reappeared into Sherlock's life, Sherlock had chosen John instead of Mycroft. He had preferred to sacrifice his own brother rather than the man who hold him accountable for the death of his wife. Obviously, Sherlock had not pulled the trigger. But still. He put John above everything in his world. He put him higher than Mycroft, the man who was always a step ahead of everything and who consequently could drag him out of the troubles he always got himself into ; no matter the context, Sherlock always had the British government by his side. Despite all this, he had chosen John.

And Mycroft knew it. He had known who his brother was going to choose, without a second of hesitation. He even tried everything he could think about to prevent Sherlock from regretting his choice by acting more odiously than ever. He didn't even bother to try and dissuade Sherlock because he knew he would have blatantly failed.
Sherlock's only weakness was John.

And it didn't take a genius to see it.