srhak x neither cisgender

neither cisgender 😻😎🤪

"Neil Cicierega," Shrek said. "Yes, Shrek?" Neil Cicierega replied. "Will you go on a date with me?" Shrek asked. "Oh my god! I've been waiting for you to ask me this for so long!" Neil Cicierega said. "So is that a yes or a no?" "Of course I will!" Neil Cicierega replied. "I'll pick you up at 5," Shrek said. Shrek winked at Neilr which cause Neitl to blush. Shrek started walking away to his car. This night will be amazing! Both Shrek and Neil thought.

Two Hours Later

Neil and Shrek start getting ready for their date. Neil has many kinds of shampoos. He has an "everyday" one, his "I'm visiting my family" shampoo, his "going to lunch" shampoo, and many other kinds of shampoos. He starts to wash his hair with his "special date" shampoo that smells like cupcakes. Shrek doesn't take a shower because he always smells good and looks clean. Shrek is made of boyfriend material and has been his whole life. Shrek puts on his suit and does his hair nicely. He checks himself in the mirror one more time, grabs his keys, and starts going to his car. 

Neil puts on his fanciest black suit and does faces in the mirror because he knows he's hot. He fixes his tie and puts on his cologne. I'm so fucking hot. Neil says to himself. 

Neil patiently waits for Shrek to arrive. What if he was just joking around with me and never liked me like that? No, that's impossible. I'm hot. But he's almost as hotter as I am. As he was starting to doubt himself, he suddenly hears a doorbell ring. Neil goes up to the door and sees Shrek standing there with the most beautiful flowers he has ever seen in his hands. "Sorry I'm late, I had to go pick up these flowers for you," Shrek says. "It's fine. The flowers look beautiful," Neil says. Shrek hands him the flowers and Neil takes them. He puts the flowers in a vase and goes back to the door where Shrek is standing.

"Well let's go then. I have a lot planned for us today," Shrek said. They started walking to his car. Shrek opens the door for Neil. Neil smiles at Shrek and Shrek smiles at him back. The car ride to their date was quiet but it wasn't an awkward kind of silence. It was a comforting kind of silence, the one that makes you feel at home. Suddenly, Shrek reaches over and puts his hand on Neil's thigh. Neil's ears turned red and his whole face became redder than a tomato. He looked over to Shrek who was looking at the road, driving with a smirk on his face.

I just want to slap that smirk off his face. Neil thought to himself, smiling.