Weeks past and Jess was at her last doctors appointment. She was having a girl and she was taking medicine for he suicidal thoughts. Me on the other hand started going out with Ben.
"You're not staying tonight?"
"No I'm sorry,Jessica needs me."
"OK,I love you."
"I love you too."
Ben hugged me willingly and then he kissed my cheak. Of course I let out my little smile that I always give him. He was so perfect anyway I went to Jessica's house and she looked awful.
"Jess?,Are you OK?"
I didn't hear an answer for awhile until I found her sleep in her bedroom. She looked happy and I was happy for her. An hour past and I had feel asleep next to her,but when I woke up she wasn't breathing. I wanted to panic but I called 199. My hands were shaking and sweaty. Please let her be OK. An ambulance can and they weren't getting a pulse. U wanted to cry so bad but I needing to stay strong. Finally Nash came and he was already crying.
"Is she okay?"
"I don't know yet."
"You don't know? You were freaking laying right next to her!!"
"Its not my fault!! She might be your girlfriend but she's my best friend! ITS NOT MY FAULT!"
I can't believe I was going off like that. Nash was blaming me...it is my fault. I sould of made sure she was OK in the beginning. The doctors were telling something to Jessica's mom but I couldn't make it out but I heard her crying like there was bad news. The doctor was walking over to us and he told us she didn't make it. My heart sunk and my face was filled with tears. Nash just walked away,I know he was crying. I ran somewhere not even looking where I was going until I got to the forest everyone was so scared of but there was nothing actually in the woods but trees. I sat down on a log and cryed til I heard a tree branch. Sean walked slowly over to me.
"Dianna?"
"Sean,um..what are you doing here?"
"I always come here. I know your upset about Jessica's lose."
"Its my fault!!..if I would of just..helped her."
"Dianna,its not your fault. She killed herself."
"What?"
"Doc told me she overdosed on the pills she was taking.You didn't do anything."
Hearing that made me sob even more. Sean and I breaked into a hug and he kissed the top of my forehead.
"I love you OK?"
"Sean, Ben and I-"
"I know. I just still love you."
I smiled and he kissed me again only not on my forehead this time. It look me a while to know we were actually kissing each other and I liked it. I was cheating on Ben and I had to stop.
"Sean."
"Call me if you need me."
"I will."
He starts to walk away as I walk faster to walk with him.
"Where you heading now?"
"Home. You can come if you want."
"Sure."
We go to his house and its freaking huge. Then i saw his mom and her eyes got big when I walked in.
"Is that your girlfriend?"
We look at each other.
"No, we're just friends."
"Yeah,just friends."
We went upstairs to his room.
"You've been gone for a while where you been."
"Vacation."
"Oh, I didn't know where to go this week."
"You can come in my bed with me."
"Shut up."
His corny flirting was killing me. An hour past and I was still at his house. Surprised he hasn't tried anything yet...yet.
"I'm gonna go home now."
"OK.I'll walk you out."
He opens every door we past for me and he grabs my jacket. He hugs me and I let him it was just a hug. Then he kissed me.
"Sean, really."
"Give that to Ben."
"Are you jealous?"
"Maybe, don't worry about it."
"You're the one that set us up."
"I just wanted you to be happy."
"Thanks but I don't need you to make me happy."
"Sorry."
"Just..don't."
I walk away and he watches me I can see him out the corner of my eye. Sooner or later I get to Ben's house. I don't know why but he's pissed.
"Why were you with Sean?!"
"I don't know, we were just hanging out. Nothing happened."
"Really?"
"Maybe. Yes..he kissed me, but I stopped him I swear.
" Thanks for telling me that."
"Your welcome, jerk."
"You know what, I'm sick of you."
"I don't care!And I bet you won't break up with me."
He looked at me and didn't stop.
"We can break up, I can care less."
I slam his door and go to Nash's house. Since they lived like two streets down from each other. I ringed Nash's doorbell and there wasn't an answer for a while.
"What do you want?"
"I wanted to see if you were OK."
"I don't need you to do that."
"Nash, I'm trying to help. I just want to help."
"I don't need your help and I don't need your help, just go away."
I stared at Nash by his rudeness. I was trying to make him feel better and all he sees me as is the killer of his girlfriend. I didn't do it, she comitided suicide. A tear rolled down my face and closed the door on my face. I cryed even more. Nash watched me from his window and I just decided to actually go home at a time like this. I jumped into bed with a face full of tears and gently fell asleep.
