Changed For The Best❣/m.p

☹four☹

I wake up and i turn off my alarm
I walk to the closet as i take out my clothes

I take a shower as i wear this

I walk downstairs as i make a bowl of cereal and i remember what happened yesterday

"Mattia asked me out like mattia the dino mattia"

"Wtf-"

I put my bowl in the sink as i grab my bookbag and i walk to school and i put in my airpod

As i put my head down and i start to walk
(Songs skip if want)wait till u see this emoji to know it's over"😭🤚"

Y: feels like I'm on the edge right now
I wish that I could say I'm proud, I'm sorry that I let you down
let you down
all these voices in my head get loud I wish that I could shut them out I'm sorry that I let you down let you down...
~
Y: yeah don't talk down to me that's not going to work now packed all my clothes and I moved out I don't even want to go to your house every time I sit on that couch I feel like you're going to lecture me eventually I bet that we could have made this work and probably would have figured things out but I guess I'ma let down

Y:but its cool i checked out oh you want to be friends now okay let's put my fake face on and pretend to sit around and talk about the good times that Didn't even happened I mean why you laughing what's a mistake joke let me see if I can find a reaction no but at least you're happy
~
Y: feels like I'm on the edge right now I wish that I could say I'm proud I'm sorry that I let you down let you down all these voices in my head get loud I wish that I could shut them out I am sorry that I let you down let you down
~
Y:i'm sorry
I'm so sorry
I'm sorry that I let u down
(The search nf)

*i change the song*🖕

Y: lately I feel so alone don't even know why I have a phone nobody hits me up and I'm stuck never has someone that I could call my own
~
Y: it's lonely walking down this road fake friends that I didn't have to know same ones that fucked me over and whenever I needed'em and I turn around they just turn, ghost
~
Y: I feel I'm at the all time low I'm depressed and it hurts me to know my ex is happy and I can't seem to cope she's ignoring me every text message I wrote
~
Y: my anxiety is high my medications low I am so stressed and I hate being home I sit in overthink everything alone I wish I had somebody to hold damn
~
Y: I'm sick and tired of you putting up a front like I'm happy but believe I am in a slump I try to stay strong screaming I don't give a fuck but if anybody will give it that I'm the one
~
Y: I want to put down my walls and open up a hide behind this wrapper I've become addicted to being accepted like a drug and no one's here I feel like I'm ready to plunge
(7yrs ok remix-sik world)

*Song ends and changed*🖕

Y: go ahead and call me a coward say that I'm not strong because I'm not like you
~
Y: go ahead and call me crazy cuz I live in a maze tell me how about you I think I live in my head sometimes I think I'm dead I hide behind my youth
~
Y: no I've been losing my mind I'm a little behind step inside my shoes cuz I've never been happy with myself and I don't need no one feeling bad for me
~
Y:trying to offer me pity and throw jabs at me
~
Y: want to give me advice and then laugh at me behind closed doors
~
Y: just close the door and let me be by myself
~
Y: just me and myself I'm tired of living I cry I hear it's easier to die I want to see for myself
~
Y:and I know that sounds crazy to everyone else but I'm depressed as fuck dressed as fuck ain't no medicine that could cure my intensive drugs I need
~
Y: I need extra love in the day even enough said that ain't even enough and where the fuck is God damn maybe I ain't believing enough but today we're going to see if he's written if he is then I guess I'm probably going to hell
~
Y: look I ain't want to die like this I aint picture my life like this they don't know what it's like like this pretending I'm happy so I can smile like this and laugh like you
~
Y: sometimes I wonder if I ever act like you could I finally fit in and maybe relax like *sigh*
~
Y: or would you feel lost without me cuz honestly I think the world is better off without me and my minds spinning
~
Y: this is the line finished truth is I don't care how they feel about my feelings I made up my mind
~
Y: I'm going out like Robin Williams I guess I'm not the ordinary people of John legend and I've been suicidal since the day I was nine,shit
~
Y: okay the day I was not I've been tired of being bullied cuz stay out the fire grandma told me I should take it one day at a time and damn it look at me now fuck
~
Y: look just know it's a new day but if you're reading business probably too late *gun shot in the song*
~
Y:0 just make sure you tell my family it's okay I'm sorry it's too late I'm sorry so much weighing on me I don't want to live to see another day I'm sorry
~
Y: but I can't stay I'm sorry so much weighing on me just make sure you tell me family's it's ok I'm sorry
~
Y: but it's too late I'm sorry so much weighing on me I don't want to live to see another day sorry but I can't stay I'm sorry so much weighing on me
~
Y: I hope you got what you wanted I hope you finally happy it's too late for you
~
Y: been going out of my mind you don't know how many times did I done prayed for you
~
Y: hope you hear me G*d damn it cuz I got so much shit that I want to say to you
~
Y: I used to shine now I'm on the dark I remember I used to tell you to follow your heart but G*d damn it look at you now it's all your fault how could you
~
Y: maybe it's my fault I should pay more attention to what you been doing maybe I should have been more of an influence I can't believe that you're dead
~
Y: I read your letter and all I could do is have mixed feelings about it
~
Y: but I'll forever be attached to you, damn
~
Y: part of me feels bad for you a part of me feels like you week and I'm mad at you
~
Y: and I don't mean to be insensitive but I don't understand how could you prevent this shit you took the easy way out G*d damn it you did I mean look what you did
~
Y: I'm so fucking upset how could you be so selfish man, how could you be so selfish now you're gone you done left me so helpless
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Y: I wonder what God things I hope you're in God's place behaving yourself yo what the fuck you gotta say for yourself
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Y: look I really feel lost without you I hate the fact you think the word is better off with you and my minds spinning
~
Y: this is the line finished truth is I don't care how you feel about my feelings and I'd be lying to you if I told you I'm fine,listen I know that you can hear me all I need is like 5 minutes
~
Y: I just want to reach inside the casket and pull you out I'm sorry this is something that we both couldn't figure out I wish I could hear you now
~
Y: is your soul missing I wonder if you could do it again would you do it different tell me what death is like
~
Y: was it meant for you Brody did the heavens support it are you fucking happy now did you get what you wanted
~
Y: isn't this what you wanted I feel the temperature falling and you get suicidal back then you were nine
~
Y:yeah
~
Y: even back then you was 9 we was living on the edge couldn't stay out the fire
~
Y: grandma told us we should take it out one day at a time and damn it look at you now
~
Y: but it's a new day and if you can't hear me that's probably too late fuck
~
Y:just make sure u tell my family it's ok I'm sorry but it's to late sorry so much weighing on me
~
Y:i don't wanna live to see another day sorry  but I can't stay I'm sorry
~
Y: but I can't stay I'm sorry so much weighing on me just make sure you tell my family it's okay I'm sorry but it's too late I'm sorry so much weighing on me I don't wana live to see another day I'm sorry but you can't stay  sorry so much weighing on me
~
Y: just make sure you tell my family it's okay I'm sorry but it's too late I'm sorry so much weighing on me I don't want to live to see another day I'm sorry but
~
Y:I can't stay I'm sorry so much weighing on me I make sure you tell my family it's okay I'm sorry ~
Y:but it's too late I'm sorry so much weighing on me
~
Y:I don't want to live to see another day I'm sorry but I can't stay
~
Y:I'm sorry so much weighing on me
(Song ends (I'm sorry-joyner Lucas)

*Song changes*🖕

~
Y: I've been on the low I've been taking my time I feel like I'm out of my mind I feel like my life ain't mine who can relate?
~
Y: I've been in love I've been taking my time I feel like I'm out of my mind I feel like my life ain't mine
~
Y: I don't want to be alive
I don't want to be alive
I just want to die today
I just want to die
I don't want to be alive
I don't want to be alive
I just want to die
and let me tell you why
~
Y: all this other shit I'm talking about they think they know it I've been praying for somebody to save me no one's heroic and my life don't even matter
~
Y: I know it I know it I know it I'm hurting Dee but I can't show it I never had a place to call my own I never had a home
~
Y: ain't nobody calling my phone where you been? where you at? what's on your mind?
they say every life precious but nobody care about mine
~
Y: I've been on the low I've been taking my time I feel like I'm out of my mind if you like my life ain't mine who can relate? I've been on the low I've been taking my time I feel like I'm out of my mind I feel like my life ain't mine
~
Y: I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
you don't got to die today
you don't got to die
I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
you don't got to die
now let me tell you why
~
Y: it's the very first breath when your head's been drowning underwater and it's the lightness in the air when you're there chest to chest with a lover it's holding on though the roads long and seeing light in the darkest things and when you stare at your reflection finally knowing who it is I know that you'll thank God you did
~
Y: I know where you been where you are where you going I know you're the reason I believe in life
~
Y: what's the day without a little night I'm just trying to shed a little light
~
Y: it can be hard it can be so hard but you got to live right now you got everything to give right now
~
Y: I've been on the low I've been taking my time I feel like I'm out of my mind I feel like my life ain't mine who can relate?
I've been on the low I've been taking my time I feel like I'm out of my mind it feel like my life ain't mine
~
Y: I finally want to be alive
I finally want to be alive
I don't want to die today
I don't want to die
I finally want to be alive
I finally want to be alive
I don't want to die
I don't want to die
~
Y: pain don't hurt the same I know the lane I travel feels alone but I'm moving till my legs give out and I see my tears melt in the snow hey don't hurt the same I know the lane I travel feels alone but I'm moving to my legs give out and I see my tears melt in the snow but I don't want to cry I don't want to cry anymore I don't want to feel alive I don't even want to die anymore oh I don't want to I don't want to I don't even want to die anymore
(Song ends(logic-i8001738255)

😭🤚🤚🤚

I get to school i just walk i to class with my head down as i sit