don't be shy

act nine, scene three

The deeper i fell into his kiss the more my body lost control, it amazes me how this man can take my whole spirit away just by kissing me. His hands both cup my face, making me realize my head is quite small, or he just has big hands; either way, it was cute. My head was spinning, i had no clue what was happening right now, if it was real? I've missed Ciaran like mad, all those hours thinking if i did something different, if only i looked different, if only i wasn't so clingy; let him chill out for abit. All this time thinking it was my fault, but it was him. Once i finally regained consciousness over my body, i push him away from me and slapped him across the cheek. I quickly ran out of there and on my way to find Dixie.

 It was quite hard considering it was getting busier now since it was getting later. I waited at the side and tried to call her but, of course, she didn't answer. It was horrible. Just as things get worst, i spot Ciaran comes back in from outside so, i just entered the large body of people dancing to try and escape and hide. As i go deep and bump into 2 people necking on, only to find out that one of those people is Dixie. Fucking great. "Dixie, we need to leave now." I try to tell her but she either couldn't hear me or didn't want to hear me. So i grabbed her arm and dragged her away, her laughing at the situation. "What's up?" She said all giddy like she hadn't just done the one thing i warned her not to. "What did i tell you, Dix?" I was trying to be angry with her but my mind just wanted to get out of here. "I'm sorry, it was an accident," She laughs, "Do we really need to leave?" She whines at me. "Yes. Like right now." "But whyyyy? It's only 1. You said 2." She kept whining on and on. "I saw Ciaran." I sighed to her. Her expression changed to a more angry one, her flight or fight is triggered too. "Let's go beat him up." She announces, getting ready to square up. "No. No. We are not doing that at all. We are going." I was not letting her go loose, as much as i would love that, I couldn't let it happen.

We walk out of the club and start our adventure back to our hotel so we can rest before starting our adventures tomorrow, well today. The trip was oddly silent from mine and Dixie's end, both kind of in shock of what happened in that club. The only way this can be fixed is if we talk it out. "So, you cheated on Pete huh?" I jokingly said to her, to lighten the mood. "Oh Alex, please don't i'm a wreck." She answered back to me, making my heartache. Deep down she's not a bad person, just makes silly mistakes sometimes 'cause she's scared. "You aren't a wreck, you just want love, and if Pete isn't going to do that," I started but didn't finish, i think she got the point. "Bless you Alex, did you get a chance to talk to Ciaran?" she asked me this time, now i'm going to be the hypocrite. "I did, yes." "And what was said?" She nudged the question, wanting to know the gossip. "He said he was sorry, and he never meant to hurt me and he still cares about me." I answered her truthfully, that was the basic message he was giving me. "Oh my god, what did you say?" Dixie was getting excited, almost as if it was some fairytale love story. "Nothing i just-we just.." I started and Dixie was looking at me to continue. "We made out." "YOU WHAT? You have a go at me but you are running back to your ex." She yelled at me, not actually angry, happier if anything else. "Yeah but, i was under a spell okay. After i broke loose i slapped him." I explained more to Dixie and her eyes widened. "Hold up, you and your ex-man found each other in a club, he confesses he's sorry and is, probably, in love with you still, you guys make out and you slap him and run?" The way Dixie explained it was like out some novel, and like i was the villain. "From the way you say it, i kinda feel bad now." I look up at her, she just smiling at me. "You know what you need to do right?" I look at her confusingly, what on earth do i have to do? "You need to go back to that club and talk to him, and hopefully get some too." Who in god's name give her that idea? I can't go back, not now. He's probably gone home now, or with another girl. God knows. "Dixie that's an awful idea, he won't be there, we are almost home and we need to get up for tomorrow." I rambled onto her but like she cared. "No, i'll go home and sort everything out, you go back and get your man. Come on this is a sign from the universe. All you have to do is be back for 12.2 She looked at me with so much hope. And it gives me hope. Like i always say, yolo. 

"Let's do it." I stated and we giggled and went our separate ways. It's now or never so let's hope he thinks the same way.