You are Phoenix Wright, a male defence attorney. You have been best friends with Larry Butz, an artist, and Miles Edgeworth, a prosecutor, since childhood. Your assistant, Maya Fey, is a spirit medium. Maya's sister, Mia, is dead. Mia was your mentor. Duck Gumshoe is the local detective. Franziska Von Karma is Miles Edgeworth's sister. Once day, Paul Blart approaches you and asks if you'll defend him. Paul Blart Mall Cop has been accused of murder. You agree to take his case.
The trial begins...
THE TRIAL OF PAUL BLART MALL COP
Judge: Court is now in session. The plaintiff is standing on the witness stand. Defendant Paul Blart is standing in the defendant seat. Both the plaintiff and the defendant are wearing dark blue robes. The court seats are purple. The court room lighting is dim.
Edgeworth: Get on with it! Who did you kill?
Blart: I didn't kill anyone!
Edgeworth: Quit stalling and answer the question!
Blart: I did no such thing!
Phoenix: Edgeworth, stop being mean :(
Edgeworth: What?! I'm being professional here! This man has been charged with the brutal killing of multiple individuals, including a police officer!
Blart: I'm not guilty!
Judge: Uhhhh order in the court pwease!
Edgeworth: (To the Judge) Apologies, Your Honor. Please stop wasting time and get on with this trial.
Blart: (Sternly) I did not kill anyone!
Phoenix: You guys should believe him :( He's Paul Blart, from the Paul Blart Mall Cop movies!
Edgeworth: Shut it, Wright! (Sigh) Very well. Blart, did you or did you not arrest this woman?
Blart: Which woman?
Edgeworth: The one standing in front of you. The one dressed in a police officer uniform.
Blart: Oh shit is that Megumi Sasahara from YTTD? I f*cking HATE Megumi. She was being so loud and obnoxious in the food court one day, I suggested she be charged with trespassing.
Edgeworth: Shut it, Blart! (Sigh) Very well.
Phoenix: Mr. Blart is innocent! He was working at the mall at the time of the murder!
Blart: I hate to tell you this, Mr. Lawyer, but I wasn't working at the mall at all on the day of the crime!
Maya: Uh oh Nick, you f*cked up.
Edgeworth: What?!
Blart: I got fired for being a lazy bum and eating all the chili's at the mall! That shit is the WORST! I was so hungry I thought about eating the t-shirt that one time...
Edgeworth: Shut up! (Sigh) Very well. Back to the matter at hand.
Phoenix: Edgeworth, uhhh Paul Blart is acting a little funky right now. Can I pay you 20 bucks to let me win this case? :(
Edgeworth: Hmm, I see. You wish to use this as an opportunity to throw the case to win a lot of money at a later date. That is quite the gamble, Wright.
Maya: D-does he seriously think 20 dollars is a lot!?
Phoenix: Shut up.
Edgeworth: Very well. What is it you wish to ask?
Maya: I just wanted to know what happened on the day of the crime. That's all.
Phoenix: MAYA! You're ruining this for me! :(
