Connect

Adam and Eve

Years ago
"I said no!" It was hard enough as it was, I didn't need Adam stealing what glory I had and claiming it all for his own. I couldn't keep skating forever, I knew that but my muscle memory was getting worse. Everytime I got on the damn board, it was like learning for the first time all over again

I couldn't stand at the top for other kids to look up to if I couldn't remember how to skate myself so there was only one thing left to do - quit. Stop being 'Connect' and face the music that the harder days seemed to be coming faster than I could cope with - they didn't deserve to deal with my issues too, and I needed to get away from Adam as soon as possible

Tears slid down my cheeks as I walked away from my group for what I knew would be the final time. "Hitomi, wait up a sec" of course Joe had to try and stop me as I put my board down with one foot on top of it ready to go "take off the mask" his tone was sincere but stern like a parent to a child after they'd made a comedic mistake

Normally this would be a simple task but I didn't want him to see me cry so instead of doing that...I left without a word, or at least tried to. His hand gently took my arm so that I faced him,  he wasn't letting it go - I removed the gas mask from my face and placed it in his hand "goodbye Joe"

The ride home was quiet but warm from the adrenaline coursing through my veins triggered by all the racing tonight. I'd never feel this again so why wasn't I missing it? I should've been heartbroken or at least ashamed of myself...but that's just the thing - I wasn't.

Not one piece of me was going to miss skateboarding itself or 'S', just Joe and 'Cherry' as he called himself. I'd never had to be tormented by Adam again or get in the middle of fights just so no one got hurt for no reason, but hearing Adam admit he 'needed' me only made me want to leave all the more

It gave me a reason to go, a way out that I'd been waiting ever so patiently for. Being alone was always the preferred way, it was how Joe had originally found me - occupying a corner ramp in the skate park, no training, no groupies...just me and my board for the rest of time, that was what I'd planned then

I was brought out of my thoughts by the echoing sound of sirens behind signalling that I'd caught the attention of the authorities. I pushed forward a few more times trying to pick up speed in hopes of escaping, maybe I shouldn't of left? It would be safer in a squad! Had I lost my mind?!

I'd been with them since we were kids! What was I thinking?! I knew Adam meant nothing by it! We laughed and we joked, that was our bond! Girls stopped hanging out with me cause I wasn't as 'delicate', Joe and I used to roughhouse like crazy! Man, I missed those days - when there was nothing between us!

And just like, that my face collided with the floor as my focus left my feet. The minute my attention left my body, it stopped working as if it were some kind of punishment - damn that diagnosis! If only I'd told someone, then maybe there'd be some help or at least conversation that brought comfort

And to pay for my silence and 'sins', I got three months on the inside