Within the Lines

25.

"That's my ride, so I gotta get goin'," I blurted to the theatre kids, unable to take my eyes off of Atticus.

People may or may not have expressed disappointment that I was leaving so soon. I wasn't paying attention. A few seconds after leaving the room, I couldn't even remember what I'd looked like or if I'd waved at everyone because I was so fixated on Atticus. I hoped I did all the polite stuff automatically, else people would've definitely noticed something off.

"Dad's done then, I guess?" I asked Atticus once we were standing in the hallway.

He grunted an incoherent response and started walking again. I hurried after him, but we didn't get far before another voice sounded behind us.

"Atty, you have to relax," Jonah said, jogging past me to catch up to Atticus. "You dumped him because it was too weird. Is that going to change any time soon?"

Atticus slowed his pace marginally, but he took a few seconds to answer Jonah.

"No," he finally said. "But—"

"Then get off his back. This isn't fair," Jonah interrupted him.

I cringed at Jonah's harsh tone. All Atticus did was look at me and Jonah like he was jealous, just like he'd done when we painted together a while ago. He hadn't actually said anything or done anything wrong, safe for being grumpy.

Tough love seemed to work on Atticus, however. I saw his shoulders rise and slump as he took a deep breath. He slowed his pace even further so I could catch up, too. We reached the entrance of the school building, and that was where Jonah left us.

I knew it was probably better if I kept my mouth shut until we reached the car and Dad. People always told me I blabbered too much when I was nervous. I couldn't help it, however. The words spilled out.

"You alright?" I asked, carefully peeking up at Atticus.

Atticus breathed in and out deeply, gaze trained on the parking lot up ahead.

"Mom and Paul plan to go away for the weekend," he said. "Drive off and spontaneously book a hotel somewhere because Paul has been working so hard."

"Ah, that's good for him. Glad Chiara's noticin' he doesn't take breaks unless your force him," I said, satisfied Dad would be forced to step away from work for a moment.

I didn't understand why Atticus grimaced until it hit me Atticus and I weren't invited on the holiday. It was for the better because even I had a limit on how much parental PDA I was willing to put up with. No Chiara and no Dad at home, however...

Oh, crap.

"We're goin' to be home alone this weekend," I stated with a nervous chuckle.

Atticus pressed his lips together. Now that I knew him a little better, it was actually quite easy to read his face. Or maybe it was just easy to see he thought it was awkward, because who wouldn't think this situation was awkward?

I cleared my throat. "We can handle that, right?" I said. "I mean, we don't have to hang out if you don't want to. We don't have to talk either. I can be in my room paintin' or take long walks if you need some space in the house. Just say the word when you want to be alone."

I thought I was saying a nice thing, but Atticus only grimaced harder and his cheeks turned a little darker.

"Could you stop being so nice?" he muttered.

I snorted in surprise. "Don't think I can," I said.

And honestly, if I was making Atticus hesitate about his decision by being myself, then I would be myself all day, every day, and all up in his face if I could.

"We'll be alright."

In a daring moment, I reached out and patted Atticus' shoulder. At first, his muscles would always twitch when I touched him, but now he was more used to me. I was glad he was still used to me and didn't revert to a tight bundle of nerves whenever I laid my hand on his shoulder.

Atticus breathed in and out deeply. "Yeah," he said. "We're alright."

"Good," I said. "Let's go to the car, then. Shouldn't keep my dad waitin'. That makes him cranky."

I took a step forward, but this time it was Atticus grabbing me. He had his hand on my upper arm and stopped me in my tracks. I looked up at him with wide eyes in surprise and found my expression reflected back to me on Atticus' face. He'd also surprised himself by grabbing me.

"Yes?" I asked, swallowing thickly.

Atticus was close. Too close. No, not too close - he was where I wanted him but couldn't have him, and that sucked. After only one day, obviously everything between us was still there, and it seemed Atticus had lost his train of thought for a moment, staring into my eyes.

Then he broke the spell my letting his gaze dart to the side of my face. He still didn't speak, but I knew I had to give Atticus some time to say difficult things. Besides, I enjoyed the warmth of his hand on my arm.

"Are you going to date Jonah?" Atticus finally pressed out.

I bit my tongue to suppress a surprised laugh, because this was definitely not the right moment to laugh. I was also partially insulted that Atticus apparently thought I was okay moving on literally the day after we called it quits. Atticus had left his mark on me. It wasn't as if I could simply turn over the piece of paper to hide the side with smudges and start with a blank slate.

"What?" I said.

Atticus' eyebrows pinched. He looked desperate now. "Please, just answer me."

I sighed. "No, I'm not goin' to date Jonah. And yeah, we weren't together long but I still like you and it's not that easy to move on. But..."

I easing Atticus' hands off of my arm before taking a step to the side, away from him. "Even if I don't, that doesn't mean there won't be someone else that isn't Jonah. I'm hung up on you, but I won't be forever. And you can't glare and look at that guy as if he's evil. That's not fair. You dumped me. Jonah's right."

Atticus breathed in and out deeply. I thought I saw the shadow of regret, but maybe that was only me hoping. And just a shadow didn't seem like it'd be enough to change his mind.

"I know," he said.

"Good," I replied.

An uncomfortable silence fell, and I turned my gaze to the parking lot. "Let's uh, just go," I muttered. "Shouldn't keep my dad waitin'."