Bound By Contract

Chapter Twenty Two

There aren't enough words to describe heartbreak, and even though there have been countless songs written in dedication to it; it is simply a feeling that can't be easily explained. Heartbreak is quite the literal word, I've found. It describes an actual breaking sensation; an extremely painful ache in the middle of the chest where the heart used to be, but is now shattered into a million sharp little pieces. It's no wonder that before the development of modern science people believed our hearts ruled our mind and bodies. Sometimes I can't help but agree.

I curl up in my bed as has been my custom for a week or two. I've found that standing upright makes the pain worse and although I hold my hand to my chest to help dull the ache I end up back in bed exactly how I started. For the most part I've given up trying.

I ask myself repeatedly why I let myself feel this way. Michael and I had spent so little time together romantically. Why did I let myself fall? Why did I let any of this happen?

Why?

I had protected myself from this type of thing for so long after seeing people around me break after their relationships crumbled and I swore to myself it would never happen to me.

What is it about Michael that draws me in? I am drawn in almost against my will. This stupid contract is what all my woes have originated from, I just know it. Michael's big plan will be the death of me, and I don't even know exactly what it is. I just have to silently play my part in it.

Everybody has just left for court today. I count the days by when everyone leaves for court; it's how I keep track that another day has passed. I sleep most of the day; it's the only activity that numbs me somewhat.

My cell phone, which I keep underneath my pillow starts ringing unexpectedly. I do keep it there just in case, but I never actually thought it would ring. My heart races, startled.

After I pick up, I fail to say a greeting into the receiver. "Hey Christina," Jared's smooth voice calls. All I can do to respond is sigh.

"Is everything okay?" No Jared, it's not. That man I fell in love with, my first love, has broken my heart. Everything is not okay.

Jared responds to my silence with a sigh of his own. "Hey, let's go out and eat again or something," he suggests.

"No, I appreciate it, but everyone's at trial, I'm sure someone will be watching what I'm doing."

"Oh," he says sounding a little defeated. The sound of his disappointment is disheartening.

"Why don't you come over and cheer me up. There's no one here."

"I'll be over in half an hour!" he exclaims.

Sure enough, security calls in exactly half an hour with Jared's arrival. I really look like a mess when I answer the front door and let Jared in.

"What happened to you, did you get hit by a bus or something?"

That at least gets a smile out of me. "Worse."

"What can be worse than getting hit by a bus?"

I laugh. "You have no idea." I lead him into the kitchen wearing my pink plaid pajama bottoms and pink long-sleeved shirt. Jared looks sharp in his blue buttoned up shirt with black jeans and, as always, that pristine smile.

"You want anything to drink, water, soda, juice?"

"Juice, please. I only have juice on special occasions, and I consider this a special occasion."

"Really?"

"Yeah, this is the first time you invited me into your house," he says excitedly, his eyes roaming around the kitchen.