Fixer Upper

Chapter 11

Turning the key in the lock, we tumbled through the door as it caught in the latch and I kept hold of it as it swung with the door. We couldn't stop laughing as we fell over each other. I kept erupting into nervous, contained giggles, we had walked home joking about my deceitful exit, I felt a little giddy. I struggled with the key caught in the deadlock, finally pulling it free I staggered backwards into Cal. He grabbed me and placed me in a headlock, ruffling my hair so that it was no longer perfectly coiffed, then jokingly pushed me away.

"Alright! This isn't a fraternity," I said, tutting and teasing my hair back into place.

"Sorry, bro," Cal winked and reached out to ruffle my hair again, I ducked the attempt.

"Haze me, bro!" I said, sticking my butt in his direction and pouting my lips.

Cal eye rolled and started to walk away.

"Please tell me that you'll share some wine with me?" I asked, "I've done my fair share of drinking alone tonight".

"I really should go," Cal checked an imaginary watch but made no attempt to leave, instead following me further into the house.

Returning from the kitchen I had a bottle and two glasses in my hands, kicking my shoes off to the side of the room. Cal was already sat on the sofa, having removed his own shoes and rather uncomfortably barefoot on my coffee table. His arms were thrown back and elbows outstretched as he supported his own head with his hands, he looked relaxed and like he didn't have any intention of heading off soon. I sat myself down next to him, folding my legs beneath myself and facing him on the sofa for ease of conversation. I set the glasses and wine down on the coffee table, Cal took the bottle and poured for both of us, a little too much.

"Well, that was a disaster for you," Cal said, laughing.

He was right, I found myself wishing that I'd just stayed in, I should have known that there was nothing worth seeing in this village, particularly the villagers. I then started to think about all the people, other than Cal, who would have witnessed that bizarre exchange of weirdness and violence, and realised that I didn't stand a chance of a good reputation here. I suppose it was a good thing I hadn't planned on staying. Cal sank his wine and poured another.

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you go on a date with him?" Cal shuffled to face me, "you're obviously completely mismatched".

"What? I didn't go on a date!" I proclaimed.

"It was definitely a date".

"I didn't go on a date. A date has candles, and ends in sex and disappointment. I just wanted to see the village, get to know what's around here and meet some new people. Anyway, it was you who suggested it".

"I suggested Cathy, but instead you meet up with the only other gay guy in a mile. Definitely a date".

"Not a date, just meeting new friends," I was getting defensive.

"Meeting them in the pub, with dinner, and you dressed up".

"Ah, crap. It was a date, wasn't it?" I slapped my head with my hands and groaned.

We sat in silence for a while, I was yet to look up from my hands, so I couldn't tell what Cal was doing. Finally I looked up, he was staring at me sympathetically and I shifted on the sofa to face him again.

"I feel so stupid about tonight. I just thought that it was finally okay to start over, but it was probably a false start. I feel worse now in all honesty," I said, necking the remnants of my glass and pouring another.

"I understand that feeling, when Polly, my wife, left all I wanted to do was go out and do something, change my surroundings and just get away from the situation. But, all that happened was that I just went back to our old house every night, nothing changed, if anything it just felt a little emptier. After a while it does get better. Anyway, you're lucky, you're here with no memories hanging around and can just start again," he swigged the last of his wine and poured another.

"Yeah right! I've been here for how long now and you're the closest thing I've got to a friend, and you're even paid to stick around. Don't even bother to protest it, you are. And I keep thinking that it would be better back where I came from, but it would be just as bad there. If I'm entirely honest, you're the closest thing I've had to a friend in ages. David, my ex, wasn't really one for socialising, which sort of meant I couldn't be one for socialising. Then, after a while, he wasn't even one for hanging out with me. So, really tonight was because I was lonely but, in truth, I've been lonely for a long time".

I sat there staring at Cal, he wasn't looking at me with his usual soft grin, he wasn't trying to tease me, instead his brow was knotted and his arm stretched out to touch my knee. I stared back, my eyes glistening with tears that were only held back by a refusal to blink, until one broke formation and fell. As if anticipating it, and saving me face, Cal swiftly lifted a thumb and smudged my cheek. Our eyes weren't meeting, but we both moved in closer. Leaning in I could feel our breath meet, the distance between us closing in, like that strange light headed pull that your body feels when close to the edge of a building. Falling towards this felt just as strange and unexplained, it gave me the same butterflies, but I felt like I wanted to jump. This gravity seemed to be affecting Cal too, whose eyes were half closed, but I could tell were firmly fixed on mine underneath their lids. His jaw began jutting towards me. Our meeting breath was getting warmer and heavier, I could taste it, until my lower lip rested on his. The pause panicked me, surely I couldn't have misread this too, it all seemed to be mutual. Then, as I thought about pulling away, Cal's mouth closed on mine, drawing my lips into a kiss, one hand raised to cup my face. His lips were so soft compared to the rest of his skin, roughened by manual labour, like the fingers now stroking my cheek. I could taste the wine on his breath and I was immediately sobered because I knew that he wasn't. I rested my forehead on his, gently rocking our lips apart. I felt Cal's mouth pull into a smile and his body gently shake with slight laughter.

"That was very nice," he said.

He came back to start again and, even though I knew it wasn't a good idea, I kissed him back.