I hate everyone except you

1. Loki wakes up

When he felt the light coming in through the window he groaned and turned over. Why do the suns rise so early? He rubbed his eyes and finally opened them; opened them to see a woman in her bra laying next to him. She was still asleep as he sat up. Next realizing that he too was naked. He took a deep breath and used magic to put his pants on, leaving his chest exposed.

"Miss." He whispered in her ear. "You should leave... before the head maid finds you." She opened her eyes, looking at Loki faced away from her from across the room now and she quickly covered herself with the sheets. "Yes, my prince." She quietly said and moved to put her dress on. He smiled at her words but would not let her see.

That is how he is. He takes a woman, men from time to time, and then makes them leave. He knew how people looked at him. They thought that he should not be allowed in the castle. In Asgard, for that matter. That he was not worth the trouble he brought. Even his own father, Odin, probably saw that as true. He doesn't belittle himself to their thoughts. His pride would not let him be anything less than that. His mother was probably the only reason he rightfully was allowed to stay here. Frigga always took care of his needs.

Loki was at his desk now, picking up a book to read. When he heard her start walking towards him he swung his fingers and the door opened which was her sign to leave him be. And she did. She left and closed the door gently behind her. "Well that was pleasant." He said to himself. The book he had picked up was floating in front of him as he moved about the room, pacing. It was a simple book of spells that Frigga had given to him. She had hand written everything and he liked to look at it from time to time. These were the only ones she trusted him to use correctly.

Then there was a knock at the door.

He walked over, opening it as his eyes stayed on the book. When he looked up he saw the same maid that had just left, he sighed and looked back at his book. "Please. I said to go." And he started to close the door. "Breakfast is ready, my prince." He nodded his head and dismissed her again.

-

At breakfast he sat to the left of Frigga, who was sitting next to Odin at the head of the table, and Thor across from them both.

Soon their food was brought out by some maids and they all ate in silence. Frigga tapped Loki's thigh and said "son, eat some." He looked down at where she had touched him. He wasn't hungry. He didn't want to be at the table but Frigga wouldn't allow anyone to eat until everyone was there. Loki had to be there everyday or eventually someone would be angrily marching towards his room. Usually, Thor.

"I'm not hungry, mother."

Odin huffed at Loki's words. And continued eating to his own. Loki just stared ahead. He went over spells in his head when he started to get angry. The same ones he read from Frigga's book. They drowned out his surrounding. "Loki." This time it was Orin's voice. "Would you just eat. Make your mother happy." The spells sat rolling in his head, not moving his line of sight from ahead of him. "Loki!" Loki knew why Odin was yelling now. "Brother, please don't do this today."

"I am not your brother." He had reached the seventh spell he regularly recited. "And what, exactly, have I done?" Frigga grabbed his hand and whispered to him, "You can take it to your room. Just please eat some." And with that, he stood. He took the small bowl of fruit from his plate, popping a grape in his mouth. He left through a portal he made for himself so he didn't have to pass Orin's guards at the door.

The other end of the portal let him out near the ocean. It was at the north cliffs of Asgard. Loki had the bowl of fruit and ate them as he watched the waves crash at the bottom of the cliff he was on. He sat with his legs hanging over. Why did Frigga have to say anything? Odin and Thor wouldn't have minded if he didn't eat. But, still, he did as his mother asked. He finished the fruit from the bowl and set it beside him.

He spent most Saturdays here. It was quiet. Quiet because no one was there. He secretly thought Odin made him live in the castle because he knew how much Loki hated it there. Every chance Loki had to leave, he took it. There was many different places in Asgard that no one walked about in. There's a small cave below the east end of the land that he keeps some books in, along with candles. He's spent many nights there. And many morning here. The water was calm most days, too. But there was a storm moving in today so the water was more chaotic. Loki didn't mind. It was calming.

He stayed all day, watching the storm come in. It practically took the whole day for the rain to reach him. When it did start raining he made a clear shield over him so he could sit a bit longer. But then the wind started to pick up and he decided to go back.

He used a similar portal that led him to his room. It was dark now. He lit a candle near his desk, seeing a figure across from him. "Holy hell, mother." He stumbled back a bit, dropping the knife he had brought out.

"Where did you go, Loki?" She stepped to him. She asked as if she did not already know.

"Away." He lit another candle near the window.

"Well thank you for making that clear." She sat down on his bed. "You know I just want to make sure you're alright."

"I know." He sat back on his desk. She sighed at him.

"Loki," she stood up walking to him. "Please, let me be your mother." She was directly in front of him. "I adore you and I want you to have everything you've ever wanted." Her hands moved to cup his cheeks. He let her stay there, though his eyes doubted her words. "I do adore you, son." She smiled tightly before letting her hands drop and leaving him.

Loki wanted to go home. Yet, he knew no home. The room was silent besides the crackle of the candles. He took a deep breath and walked to his wash room to shower. He felt covered in all his disappointments. He scrubbed his body in the burning water. By the time he finished, there were red lines down his arms and chest that had blood poking through. The water shut off and he stood there, breathing heavily, looking at what he'd done to himself.

A few minutes later he stepped out and cleared the mirror. He didn't look long before he became disgusted and went to his bed. The sheets were soft and soothed his ripped skin but he couldn't sleep. His mind betrayed him and he was left to think while toying with a knife, tossing it up and catching it again. After some time, he did fall asleep with his mind still racing.