wish i never met you

am i even normal?

Plss this is all crap. I really don't understand. Just 5 minutes ago, while crossing the street to go to school i almost ran into a couple. They were wayy to busy to see me. But im not hating on them. No no no. Not at all even. Im just sooo tired of seeing all these couples being happy while im just there being a 17 years old girl who never even held hands. Urgh. Like in the movies, every basic highschool romcoms, people find love in freshman year. EVEN QUEEN TAYLOR SWIFT SAID THAT! in the song fifteen, she acts as if the first day of freshman year is the day she starts dating boys. i can tell you, it was not like that for me. Plus, its very painful. Like im not even ugly. All these girls keep saying : Oh ur so pretty!! Oh u have such a good style!! Omg ur skin is so clear!!! but still, no boys are interested in me. i like to think that its because im too interesting for them or too mature. But deep down, i feel like i know that im just a boring ass who will never find love. Well, i think that i know love, because of the love songs on my playlists or when i see cute love stories in my  book. i dont know if its how it really feels. 

n e ways, at least I have my friends. They're all annoying asf but whatever, that how i like them... I think i first met them when i created the film club in 9th grade. I thought it would be the biggest hit of the year. Just 3 girls showed up. Odessa, Lily and Eva. I guess we first clicked about how obsessed we were all on greta gerwig. Since then, we just stayed together. I guess i'll just do a basic recap on who is who. 

Odessa: our love queen. She knows every romantic movie ever made. Even the boring hallmarks one. And she's the only one here who dates boys. Shes so pretty and funny, i understand how. Still, im pretty jealous of her even if she's my bestie.

Lily: a lil socialist. When we learned about socialism in school two years ago, Lily knew that it was made for her. Since then, she read most of the book treating of the subject and is always talking about it trying to convert us. Ngl, the idea of socialism do sounds pretty good. 

Eva: insta fashionista. She litteraly has like 10k followers on ig and always have the most on point outfit. Today, you see, she's wearing the most pretty long floral skirt that she thrifted, with a pastel baby tee, also thrifted and some gogo boots. She put her hair in a messy bun with some breads in it. I dont even know how she do it. She manages to have the best clothes even with her little job at the flower store.

I guess thats us. i feel like they're all super interesting! if i could i would date all of them hehe. but for me, i would say that im just a film fanatic. I really could talk about it all day. I do, but whatever. I would never, but never be an actor tho. I tried more than one time to look sad so the teacher won't give me a detention, it never worked. maybe i could be like a director, or something, but it seems so hard! i feel like i prefer to just watch the movies. Actually, i would prefer to be a journalist. Either a journalist that writes stuff about real problems all around the world or just a fashion journalist. Ngl, the devil wears prada influenced me on this one. 

So... today i still have school. IEW. LITERALLY.  omg plus none of my friends are in any of my class today. I have science, PE, history and french. Lol in french at least there will be cody. Im not in love or anything, but he's cute. (lol not cute cute but like cute, the least worst). I live in New york and there's not even some pretty boys. that's bullshit if you ask me. 

I enter the science class and the teacher directly come to me. He says: [y/n], you really need to focus more, you failed the test today. and it was worth 35%. 

dang. I knew i wouldn't have 100, but still. I hate to fail stuff. My parents are two doctors so school is very important to them... Ok, too bad, but now, i just need to find a way to not tell my parents about it.

The science is over, PE is over and without thinking about it, school is over.

After school, me and my friends are in the park, just doing our homeworks.

Eva: omg im bored.... YAY I HAVE AN IDEA

lily: pls dont say thrifting.. pls dont say thrifting...

Eva: WHAT IF WE WOULD GO THRIFTING

lily: urgh.

eva: no! istg its thursday and it's on thursday that the stuff is the best! 

I don't really want to go, but i REALLY don't want to go home to face my parents. They probably already received the mail from the school

[y/n]: ok, im in

eva; YAYYY

lily: no sorry guys i really can't plus im broke asf since the last time 

eva: Odessa?

Odessa: (taking one earbud off) wait what? y'all are going thrifting? okay sure! lol the cutest boys are always there

[y/n]: seriously odessa? weren't you talking to this other boy, marcus? you told me yesterday that u liked him?

Odessa: oh? marcus? no he was just another douche

lily: omg another douche in nyc! im suprised!

Odessa: stfu lily

eva: stop fighting y'all!!! WE ARE READY!