Embracing the Chaos

PROLOGUE

"Puro ka na lang inom! Wala ka nang ginawang matino sa buhay mo, Richard! What's happening to you??" rinig kong sigaw ni mommy.

I'm so tired of listening to them, every fucking day. Sigawan dito, sigawan doon. Nakakarindi pakinggan.

This isn't the life I want.

Whatever. What's the point of thinking about the life I wanted when fate already gave me this?

I took my car keys and got out of my room. Mas mabuti pang lumabas kesa manatili dito.

Pag labas ko ay nakita kong nasa labas din si Mommy ng kwarto nila. Sinaraduhan ata ni Daddy ng pinto. She was about to walk into my direction when she saw me. I looked at her, not showing my worry.

"Where are you going?" tanong niya.

"Somewhere peaceful." I answered at lumabas na.

I love my parents. But, the question is, mahal rin ba nila ako?

I was just born to make their parents proud. Their marriage is fixed. And it's very obvious that they don't love each other. Another reason why they don't care about anyone who lives in that house. Kahit ako, na anak nila.

"Oh, napatawag ka?" sagot ng impakta.

"Tara, punta tayong Grassland." aya ko sakanya. I need this right now. Minsan lang naman.

"What the fuck, Maria Veronica! It's 3am and nag-aaya kang mag-grassland?!" I frowned. Hindi talaga maasahan to lalo na kapag natutulog.

"Shut up. Bukas na lang, epal mo." I heard her chuckled.

"Oo na, sige na. Mag-ingat ka kung nasaan ka man at baka mapadpad ka nanaman sa lugar ni—"

I ended the call. Masyado siyang madaldal. One thing I hate about her is when she started talking, she can't, and won't stop. Nakaka-sira ng reputasyon ang mga sinasabi niya minsan.

After minutes of driving, I found myself at the Boulevard.

The sound of the waves, the wind that touches my skin, the moon, the simple yet mesmerizing scenery, is enough to make me shiver.

How I wish I have peace like this forever.

When I sleep, I can't stop but overthink things. I tend to think of the worst scenario to happen in my future. And when I wake up, the sound of my parents shouting and fighting would greet me good morning.

Just like how the butterflies grow, my life's a cycle. And it goes on and on.

I find peace with me, alone. I didn't want those fancy jewelries, those mansions, those expensive cars. I just want peace, and genuine happiness.

But, seems like life and fate wanted to play me so bad, shits happen.

I woke up with the sun hitting my face. I adjusted my sight and opened my eyes to see clearly. Inabot ko yung cellphone ko and it's 2pm already.

Tangina wala pa akong nagagawa.

Bumangon na ako at naligo. Wala naman akong gagawin ngayon dahil Sunday kaya lalabas na lang ako at gagala kesa naman manatili rito.

"I'm on my way there." ani ko kay Kendra. Pag ito tumanggi ipapakain ko sa mga pating to.

"Oo na, dalian mo, nasa labas na ako." sagot niya sa kabilang linya. Hindi na ako nagpaalam at binaba na ang tawag.

Kendra's there through my ups and downs. She never judged me, nor backstabbed me because she said,

'I know you struggle a lot and I love you. You act like you don't care but deep inside you, you're hurt. You have no shoulder to cry on that's why I'm lending mine because you don't deserve to be alone.'