The Beefer's Fable

Beef.

WARNING // VIOLENCE !!!!

     Geoff strides towards his throne, covering massive distance as his hulking frame crosses the decadent room. Awsten’s tacky hat jingles as he struggles to keep up with the monarch. As the king takes his place on his throne, the devious fool has an idea; a dangerous joke. Setting his shameful clown hat down on the expensive hardwood floor, the jester darts out of the king’s view. Climbing up onto the back of the king’s throne, the green-haired joker swipes at the shining hair on the head of his king. 

     The first, second, and third passes of the jester’s hand whiff the royal head, but on the fourth grasp his fingers clamp around a lock of brown hair. With another swift movement, the hair is yanked from Geoff’s scalp. The king stands bolt upright from his throne, glaring at the sly fool. He sets down his crown. One of his massive arms swiftly clutches it’s meaty fingers around the jester’s veiny neck. The monarch lifts the clown from the ground, slamming the trickster’s neck against the nearby wall. As the breath drains from the japemaker’s lungs, he grins. The clown reaches up and tears the curtains from the massive windows, draping him and the king under thick red velvet fabric. Geoff tumbles onto the jingling fool. Awsten is blinded by the darkness of the curtain,  but he can feel the dominant man’s hot breath in his ear. 

     The king lets intimacy overthrow him. The weight of the curtain pushes the two men’s bodies together. The fool lays comfortably on the wooden floor, feeling the large man’s body press against his own. The clown lets out a satisfied honk. Geoff reaches his hand up and touches the red, meaty flesh of his own fresh bald spot. 

     “What the hell,” Geoff whispers, his eyebrows drawing together.  Awsten sits up quickly and hauls the curtain off of the two. He then pulls himself onto the ruler’s lap. The Monarch wraps his bulky arms around the other man’s torso. Awsten grabs Geoff’s shoulders and leans backwards, looking the king in the eye. A wide-toothed, devious grin grows on the joker’s face. 

     “I beefed ya'," the buffoon breathes. Geoff looks at the ground with wide, dumbfounded eyes and swallows hard. 

     “You-” The king’s eyes flick up to meet Awsten’s. “What?” 

     “I beefed you,” Awsten explains. Geoff raises his eyebrows, prompting the clown to expound further. 

     “Beefing is when you rip someone’s hair out.” 

     “Like this?” the king asks, tearing a sizable chunk of green hair from the clown’s scalp. The idiot shrieks, making the ruler wince. Awsten quickly wraps his strong arms tightly around the king’s hunky frame. He buries his face in the king’s neck, and holds the position for a moment. Awsten breathes deeply, attempting to regain his composure while the pain wears off. Laying on Geoff was nice. Being able to wrap his muscular arms around the beefy chunk of king made him feel at peace. What a Chad. The younger sighed with content.

     “Yeah, like that,” the hairy man mumbles.

     “Where do I put the hair?” Geoff asks. 

     “Pretend we’re in an Applebee’s, you can just put it anywhere,” Awsten says. Geoff lets go of the chunk, watching it gracefully float to the floor. 

     “Can I do it again?” the king asks eagerly, with a hint of regret in his voice.

     Awsen laughs and kicks his legs. “You're gonna make me a beefer!” 

     “A beefer?” Geoff cocks his head. 

     “A beefer is a bald person. It could also mean a hairless animal, but I’m not an animal.”