Sophie Gold is younger sister to Wilbur and youngest child to her single mother Kathy. Sophie and Wilbur's dad is out of the picture, leaving Wilbur as the male role model in Sophie's life.
When Kathy gets terribly ill and Sophie has to move in wit...
That sound means I have to go back to school today. At the time, I thought it would be a good idea to go back, but now I'm rethinking it.
I sit up and press snooze before flopping back down into my pillows. My eyes lazily linger on my windowsill, watching a few cars drive past on the empty road outside. The sky is still dark and the birds haven't even woken up yet.
I sigh and rest my eyes, being careful not to fall asleep again. I know I need to get through today and then I'll be fine, but the thought of actually getting out of bed seems impossible right now. My mind goes back to all my other first days of school. Mum was there for each and every one of them, leaving me cute notes in my schoolbag and giving me comforting cuddles after school whenever something went wrong.
I'm older now and I know I shouldn't need any of that stuff anymore, but knowing mum isn't going to be home after school kills me.
Knock knock
Wilbur knocking at my bedroom door provides a distraction and I lift my head from my pillow, glancing at him.
"Hey, Sophs," he smiles, running a hand through his freshly cut hair. "School starts at eight, okay?"
I'm about to nod but then pause. I've got half a mind to tell him I don't feel ready yet. Truth is, I don't really know if I'm ready or not. I don't feel it, but I know mum wouldn't want me to be weak and miss lots of school. She always said I was too clever to let stupid shit stop me. Having mum's advice in my mind, I push away the stupid anxiety and nod, reflecting Will's smile.
Will leaves my bedroom and I hesitantly pull myself out of bed. I tell myself to take it one step at a time, and I do.
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First, I have a shower and then get dressed. Next, I brush my hair and clean my teeth before making sure I have everything for the day. Once I know I have everything, I walk downstairs into the kitchen where Will sits at the table, his eyes busy on his phone screen.
I make myself a tea and sit down opposite Wilbur, blowing the steam gently off the top of my mug.
"Food?" Will says, raising an eyebrow at my tea.
I shake my head. "I'm good"
"You'll need the energy, Sophie"
"I'm fine"
Will sighs but doesn't push any further. I look down at the table and take a deep breath. I wish Will could just ask me what's wrong and give me a hug right now.
That's what mum would've done.
***
Will drops me off at the school gates. The iron bars look daunting and the college looks like a prison.
"Have a good day," Will smiles, playfully tugging on my braids.
"You too," I smile brightly, getting out of the car.
Wilbur drives away and turns the corner. When he's out of sight, I sigh and allow myself a couple of seconds to freak out.
"Ayup!"
I turn around and see Tommy standing there, bag slung carelessly over his shoulder. He's wearing the blue jacket from his latest vlog and I notice he still hasn't been bothered to clean the bird shit off it yet.
"Hello," I chuckle, checking my phone for the time. "We're not late, are we?"
Tommy shakes his head no and nods towards the building.
"We start class in fifteen minutes," Tommy grins.
"Oh, cool," I reply.
The anxiety starts building up inside of me, the urge to run away and get hit by a car strong. Tommy doesn't seem to follow my train of thought as he pulls me towards the main building, stopping to snap a photo with a few of the younger students.
***
Tommy shows me around the school quickly, pointing out the canteen, bathrooms, sports fields and classrooms. Tommy also helps me sign in at the front desk and directs me to my classes as he studies my timetable.
"I'll meet you in the canteen at ten-thirty," Tommy says, snapping a picture of my timetable as the bell rings. "That's when we have break"
Tommy pats my shoulder before shooting down the hallway to his tech class. I suddenly feel lost and out of place as students begin to crowd the hallways.
I slip into the English classroom and take a seat at the back of the class. I'm the first student in and the teacher looks up, balancing his glasses on the tip of his nose. The teacher looks young and fresh out of university. I feel like I get along better with older teachers such as ms Glaston. Fuck, I miss her so much.
I put my head down on the desk and sigh.
I can already tell today is going to be a long fucking day.
***
At ten-thirty, I meet Tommy in the canteen and spot him immediately.
"Hey, how was class?" he asks, munching on a bag of crisps purchased from the school kiosk.
I shrug. "It was alright"
I sit down and rest my head on my sweatshirt again. I feel drained and awful and it's not even half the day gone yet.
"You okay?" Tommy frowns, wiping his hands on his jeans as his phone pings with a message. "You seem sad"
"I'm fine," I lie, glancing at my phone. "I just...don't feel well"
"You should phone Will," Tommy suggests.
"He's busy," I sigh. "I'll just stick it out. It's only the first day and I'm already struggling"
Tommy smiles at me sympathetically and offers me some crisps. I take one and let the saltiness spread over my tongue.
***
After school, Will picks me up and asks me about my day.
I just shrug and rest my head against the window. I tell myself to nod, but I don't really want to lie.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Will asks, turning down a street.
