Sacred Ink | cth

one.

        I'm pressed against the cold, tiled bathroom walls, holding my knees as it sends shivers down my spine. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, my blue jeans soaking into a darker shade. I try to look past the wall of tears clouding my vision as I glance at my wrist. My tattoo. It's fading into another distinct shape. It used to be a boat, but it changed to a lightbulb...now it's just a simple square, lacking detail. Are you fucking serious? It changed again? This is driving me insane. I hesitantly get up and shakily grab a razer blade lying on the counter. I graze my fingers over the edge, familiar with its cold features and devastating effects. Maybe I could make it all stop with just one, one simple cut. But one cut wasn't enough. I repeat my actions over and over hoping it'll do something, but it just causes pain and a huge bloody mess. Isn't it funny how quickly colors can change? What am I thinking? Red isn't a complimentary color with blue. 

        After my wrist is messily wrapped in toilet paper, hoping it'll it'll never heal, I peel away my soiled jeans and toss them to the side. About to walk away from the murder-like scene, I glance back to see that a note has fallen out of my pocket. I rush over to pick it up. Someday, you'll find him and it'll be worth it. ~ Mum This was the last note I got from my mom. Tears rush back again as I remember her. It's only been a few months, but passing left me alone. Alone to deal with my fucked up self. I just don't think I will, Mum.