I Never Hated You

Autumn.

That's right, it's autumn again and that time of week where he can finally rest.

Of course, all of his colleagues would counter this statement with scoffs and snorts over Dazai's "excuses for laziness" and how after so much procrastination, the bandaged freak should surely not need any more leisure time off.

But here he was, a breath of suppressed tension finally released. His mind was a warzone and never stopped reeling. Truly, this was the only place were it seemed to finally rest and quieten down, here amongst the dead.

Ironic, huh, Odasaku?

Yes. It was indeed peaceful.

So peaceful.

That was, until an unwelcome, familiar voice rudely stirred him back to reality.

An obnoxious boyish voice, propelling Dazai's eyelids to flutter open in confusion.

The voice is familiar, although it took Dazai a few seconds to place the voice to a name.

No, it hadn't been the voice itself interrupting Dazai's peace, but the words that voice echoed.

Not words, name.

"Chuuya... I'm afraid we should head back soon. I just received an alert from Hirotsu-san. Do you still need a minute?"

Dazai peeked out, alarmed at the close proximity of his former subordinates voice.

Yes, unmistakably, there they were, four graves away, the Black Lizard member, Michizou Tachihara and his ginger ex-partner.

They hadn't noticed him yet, Tachihara grimly standing next to his boss as Chuuya knelt over a fresh grave, seemingly praying.

Dazai wasn't aware of any new notable mafia deaths. No one both him and Chuuya were in contact with at least. But, of course, he had been gone for four years, it was expected Chuuya met new people and gained new friendships.

Not like they ever had the same friends anyway. Chuuya had always been the more easy going and extroverted one, inviting newcomers for drinks despite his obvious superior position. It was entirely possible that this too, was one of those cases. Chuuya simply paying his respects to a nameless mafia agent caught in the crossfire.

What was new, however, was this new random pairing.

Dazai decided he didn't like it.

Not one bit.

Something in his gut stirred, a feeling he rarely experienced these days, but one he was consumed by daily during his executive days.

What was it?

Jealousy, possessiveness? Compulsion? Power, bloodthirst? Insecurity, hunger, fear or disgust?

He never quite placed it, not even back then, but his enemies did. He hadn't climbed up the ranks so infamously fast for no reason. The dark malice clouding his eyes sent his enemies packing and Dazai hoped this part of him was deeply dormant, only resurfacing when absolutely necessary.

Shit.

Dazai had been so consumed glaring at the pair he completely lost track of his surroundings, and his reason for being there.

"Oh no. I'm sorry Oda, I lost myself there for a second, I'm not like this anymore, promise." Dazai whispered to the grave, laughing under his breath nervously, crouching to shield himself better from the two mafia redheads.