helpless

4

A few hours later and with many protest from Tony for her to think of what she was doing before doing anything drastic of permanent they were ready. Before she went down to the infirmary where the spell would be performed she needed to talk to Bucky. She was very much aware of his absence during all of this and realized the gravity of his situation when Steve walked back in to the conversation and shook his head at her. She made her way to his floor of the building exiting the elevator she walked into darkness. It was quiet but he could not keep her out of his mind. He followed his thoughts to his bedroom. He was sitting in a chair looking out into the skyline. "James.." she said softly, he didn't turn so she went to him. She was the only one that called him James, and he allowed it because his name on her lips just fit.In their private moments he was James only to her. She placed her hand on his shoulder she turned to look at him a tears ran down his face. "James" she said again this time in sorrow. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. She opened up to him, straddling him. His touch was desperate trying to hold her as if she would disappear right before his eyes. "I feel like I am losing you" he said his voice hoarse "James, you will always have me, I will always be here for you. You are not alone." He looked at her eyes oceans of pain and something else. "James, you know how I feel about you,our friendship will always remain but I need to find out who I am in order to continue to live. I know you can understand that" he nodded. He had spent years of his life trying to recover pieces of the time that was erased from him so he knew better than anyone the need to be whole. She kissed him softly taking him in. Her feelings for the winter soldier had grown by leaps and bounds no matter how much they tried to denied the feelings. "I love you" He whispered softly. Her eyes widened. There it was plain as day. "James-" "Do you love me?" he interuppted her with a kiss. THe love she had  for Bucky terrified her, but she knew there would be no way forward without him. "I love you James, I can't do this without you" He held her tighter in his lap. "I do not understand what is happening to you but I do know what it's like to not know who you are." She put her forehead on his and kissed him softly. There was a soft knock on the door. Steve walked in towards the couple interuppting their private meeting. "They are ready for you" They both stood and walked hand in hand for the first time in view of everyone and for the first time Ingrid forgot about her pain.