Secret Love

~2~

The room is amazing, so beautifully decorated and he can say he’s not the only one thinking this is breathtaking by the enthusiasm of the other guests. It’s exactly what his mom dreamed about when she was younger. Back when they were just the two of them, Louis was asking his mom how their life would be if he had a father. She was telling him about how they would cook Saturday's dinner all together followed later by a board games night, how they would do road trips in the countryside, singing along their favorite songs and how the wedding would look.

It’s exactly what Louis is seeing right now. A mix between candles, flowers and wood, some white chairs around perfectly dressed tables, vanilla scent floating in the air accompanying the acoustic music playing in the speakers. Everything is perfect. As perfect as his mom and stepdad are.

"It’s beautiful mom. Exactly what you dreamed about."

"Yes it is. But do you know what is even more beautiful ?"

"No, I don't. What is it ?"

"You and Harry. It’s so good to see you two together again."

This is a thing his mom has always done. She has spoken about how Louis and Harry would look great together since the day she met him. But she doesn’t know how Louis wants it too. How he was and still is craving Harry’s touch every fucking minute of his life. How he dreams about him every night, how his voice is his favorite sound, how he wants Harry to be his.

But Harry will never be his. Harry doesn’t want him. Harry doesn’t love him. He never will because Harry is perfect and Louis will never be enough for him. Harry deserves so much more than what Louis can give him. His mom doesn’t know either that the reason Louis left England was because he couldn’t support how close he was to Harry without being able to express his feelings, to call him his, to love him fully.

She never asked why he chose a college so far away from home, why he rarely returned to Doncaster. She never asked because she knew Louis wasn’t ready to tell, that it was not a story he wanted to share yet and that there were still so many things he had to sort out on his own, so many words that needed to be said. So she stayed quiet, observing, being ready for the day her son will come to her and tell her what is on his mind and heart. 

"Yes it’s great to speak to him again. But the prettiest thing in this room is you mom. You look amazing."

"Thank you sweetheart. Now go get your prince. I think he’s waiting for you to ask him to dance."

Indeed, Harry he’s waiting next to his chair, admiring other people’s outfits he has nothing to envy. His black three-piece suit fits him so well, his eyes are bringed out by his blue dress shirt and his hands are covered by different silver rings. He’s beautiful. His nails are painted in a pale shiny pink Harry probably spent a long time on because it has always been his thing. Painting his nails has always relaxed him, it’s his moment where he just takes care of himself and forgets about the world.

Sometimes, when they were still teenagers, Louis was watching him paint his nails from the corner of the room, looking at him with wide eyes because Harry looked like an angel fallen from the sky. He still does. It’s like Harry he's the only man in the room, Louis only sees him.

The prettiest man in the world. 

"Just go ! He’ll be so happy to dance with you. God knows how long he waited for it !"

Louis doesn’t understand what his mother is talking about but it’s not like he really cares, the thought of dancing with Harry is so appealing right now that it’s the only thing he can focus on. Thus, he advances in Harry's direction and taps slowly on his shoulder to draw his attention. Once Harry is turned back to him, he takes all his courage and asks in a frail voice if he may have this dance.